‘‘How weird is it’’, she thought, “to just sit next to the window and stare at the beautiful nature’’, as she sipped her coffee, saw the rain drops fall on the green grass and the wind blowing and making the trees dance.

It’s weird, but amazing, as you take time off from the busy world -where no one has the time to sit back and admire beauty - and here she was sitting next to the window pane, glancing at the beauty of nature and smiling as it made her happy.

‘‘Wow!” she thought “people would think I am a loner. I mean come on! It is half past noon, raining and its October, everyone is downstairs enjoying.’’

With fresh cold breeze hitting their faces, she saw smiling faces, happy people dancing with joy, splashing water all around and posing for rainy selfies. And there she was, holding a cup of extra sugared coffee, sitting next to her window looking down and watching others.

‘‘It is like i am hopeless and jobless, nearly so wrecked that I love seeing others happy and compare their happiness to my misery and get another reason to be upset’’ she thought.

As she was done comparing her sorrows to their joys, and realized how shallow she was, she shut her window and took an oath to go out and put on a happy smile and try being happy for a change. That was a promise she made to herself everyday hoping that her words would be her will someday.

She drew the curtains and kept the coffee aside, switched on the television to watch any sitcom that could drive her negative thoughts away and probably get a smile on her pale face again. She found the television to be her best friend in hard times, as she loved to watch movies and listen to songs that were relatable to her life and also comforted her soul inside.

‘‘Yes, it is a lonely world and i am a lonely girl’’ she said to herself, as she realized how friendless she had been since like ages. She looked at young girls hanging out with their best friends as she walked the road alone. She could feel their happiness hit her straight as she realized she had no reason to feel happy.

‘‘It hurts to see that I have no friends, no best buddy to call. Everyone seems so busy in their lives. All I need is someone who is there for me, someone I can count on forever’’.

With dreams in her eyes and depression in her mind, Tara continue to get bored as she kept on flickering the channels to find something that could soothe her big and lost eyes. An old cartoon or a song that she could hum along that could divert her attention from the happy and lovey dovey status she read online posted by people who were surrounded by love and many other friends.

She comforted herself by going to bed and tucking inside her fluffy blanket, hiding and trying to relax as she stretched herself in order to sleep.

That’s when she heard her phone vibrating.

Oh god! She said ‘‘where the heck is my phone’’? She began to search for her phone under her blanket and the sheets. Finally after a minute or so, she found her cell lying under her pillow case with two missed calls flashing on her display screen. The phone began to vibrate again, as she saw the display of her cell phone - it flashed the name of Kriti, who was her oldest yet most unlikable friend.

Kriti and Tara met in junior school when they were in the 6th grade. There were times when she thought Kriti was her best friend. But due to certain events and issues, her idea of friendship had been shattered into pieces and was not fixable by any chance. She saw the phone ringing for a while, wondered whether or not to pick her call or just go back to sleep and dream for hours, escaping the harsh reality for a while.

She had learned that no one was her true friend in real terms. All she had was herself. With the days and nights passing in seconds, she had learned how to rely on herself, but a major part of her was still willing for a friend who could rescue her from the black clouds of sadness and maybe take her to the place where there is only light .But the friendship theory was a big myth!

Tara picked the call and answered in a normal tone as she wasn’t excited talking to Kriti whom she didn’t even like

‘‘Hi,Kriti! How are you?’’ she replied, when Kriti screamed from the other side, sounding so excited and happy.

‘‘Hi. Tara!! I am good. How are you? It has been such a long time dude, since we last spoke!’’

‘‘Yes it has been a really long time, since we spoke like a year ago I guess. I was just watching television flickering around channels hoping to grab a nap for a while now! You tell me how are you? And you called, must be something important right?’’

Kriti replied in an ease tone, ‘‘yes baby all is good and the important thing was, that Ritika is having this big party at her place as her parents have gone out of town. So it is going to be like this crazy night and an epic party all boozing and smoking. It will be great and you have to come! It has been forever since we three met and it calls for a reunion. No excuses this time! I want you there and so does Ritika, we keep on talking about you that you are so pretty and nice, and we want you there dude! I don’t know you are coming!!’’

Kriti buttered Tara with a string of compliments for a while and told her she missed her and their long talks which lasted for a couple of hours, as they discussed about the boys and the sitcoms they watched. She told Tara to make it to the party and tried to convince Tara to talk to her dad about it now and confirm the plan with her after a while.

Tara knew her father would deny her the permission to go, as he didn’t allow her for any night stays. No specific reason, but they told her ‘‘call your friends at home, let them stay here and you don’t go anywhere.’’

Maybe it was due to her mother who was always ill and needed help and Tara was the only one who could look after her. She was sure about the answer that was a big ‘‘NO’’ from her parents side.

Kriti, who was on the other line said, ‘‘Hello? Tara? Where are you lost??’’

Tara replied, ‘’ Yes I am here only, was thinking about something. See I don’t think I can come Kriti, you know my dad he won’t allow me to go out, and it is okay, you guys enjoy. I will just relax at home. We will meet up some other day, for sure. ‘’

Kriti said, “Right! I know you will not come to meet me. You will stay back at your place, make some excuses and not make it even this time! Come on! This is like a chance man! I know you don’t really get out of your house ever, and also I don’t care. I want you there for old time’s sake and school friends’ sake. At least talk to him and ask him about the party? I am sure he will say yes! But just make an effort and ask him dude!’’.

Tara who heard her talk for a while, and replied ‘‘I don’t know, I just feel Dad won’t allow me, as even for night stays he didn’t agree. I know that he will say the same thing again.’’

‘‘No Tara!” Kriti said “You didn’t even ask him! At least gather up some guts man! Ask him and come there, I assure you, you will enjoy. The party is going to be killer. It will be so such fun and you haven’t met Ritika for ages. Don’t you want to cherish this time? Many girls will be there, Ritika’s college friends and maybe few hot boys too! So you are coming! I don’t know how but you are coming!’’

It sounded more like an order which had to be obeyed by any means. Tara was least bothered about the guys as she was just done with the boy phase. She had always received heart breaks. But yes she wanted to enjoy her life and it had been too long since she went out.

As she disconnected the call, Tara sat wondering about the party. Maybe there would be really cool people there. All she wanted was to suck her tears in for a day and be the Tara she was long back ago, who was carefree and. The girl who jumped around the entire house and made others smile, enjoying her life. She wanted to say YES! But she had to ask her dad first as it had been over a year since she had even gone for a night stay. For some reason she thought her parents, especially her mom, just didn’t want her to go out anywhere.

She began to ask herself, ‘‘should I ask dad about the night stay? He is cool and open with us. At times he acts as if he is my friend, we joke around and I feel comfortable to share few of my thoughts with him. But then sometimes he acts strict and weird and it just confuses me. I don’t feel like asking him something which I know he will decline in the end. The last time he told me, don’t go and call your friends at home and all, and I ended up being sad for many days’’.

I haven’t met anyone or enjoyed for once. I have been inside this house for a while. I go to college in the mornings and come home sharp by 1pm, whereas all the other kids enjoy with their friends. I walk home alone with the earphone plugged in and the songs are my only companion on the way home. I have this one chance to meet my old friends and stop being this piece of boredom and sadness. She lay down on her bed, looking at the ceiling of the fan that went round and round and she kept thinking about her life and the twist and turns that took her smile and made her into someone she never was.

She was sure her dad would say no, and she would spent her Saturday the same way she had been spending it - at home knitting the sweater of her dreams, lying down on the bed thinking of the perfect day to arrive. She would lay down and check her face book to see the mushy updates and pictures of the pretty smiling people online. Then end up in her hair tied in a thick and tight (bun) juda on the top, dressed in her favourite night dress, sitting on the couch and eating Chinese food and watching a stupid reality shows on television to kill the boredom of the night.

She had had enough of the same lonely days. She felt that all she did was to sit and picture a happy life ahead, luck by chance that changes her life forever. But it is not a fairy tale and she was not some princess to see lanterns light the entire sky on a dark day. She was not some girl who would get one night with a magical dress and a prince who would fall in love with her. She was this normal girl who was this terrible dreamer, knitting sweaters of dreams and making clouds of foamc- hoping to see the white clouds favour her side one day, hoping to see the peacocks dance to the tune of rain once again.

She was this normal girl, who needed to be brushed with the paste of reality, as she dreamed much and worked less on her dreams. She felt she was too low for all of it as no one really cared about her to give wings to her dreams.

But this was the time to break free from the wall she set up for herself. This was the time to socialise a bit and be real before it was too late.

She finally thought she would gather up some guts and go straight to her father and ask him for his permission for one night of light. ‘’I mean he would just say no, right!’’ she thought how hard could it be. ‘’No Tara! You cannot go out tonight!’’. See, didn’t hurt at all! So simple, right? She tried to convince herself but she knew she would be terribly hurt as she desperately wanted a night off.

The lonely room had started to hound her, the blanket where she tucked in for a nap started to compress her and the whole internet view on others life started to make her sad. She had no pictures of smiling faces with anyone else, just her selfie’s that had many likes but she needed a special friend to be clicked with. The whole idea of spending another weekend at home was driving her nuts that time, as she decided to raise her voice that was pressed down the sheets and demand for her right - one day off and a night to drink and dance hoping to find some new friends and a night to be remembered then and now.

Her father came home from work and they all sat together for dinner. She thought to pop out the question but then decided to keep mum. She knew her mother would point a finger at her as she her didn’t like her to go out anywhere, no matter how much she sacrificed for her, she never cared to give her a night off.

She loved her mother, but wished that one day, she would come out of her own misery and consider the happiness of others and feel something for them rather than concentrating on her issues always. She gathered up some guts but came back to being a mum again; as she knew the voice of her father saying no would hurt her ears.

Tara thought to just cancel her plans for the party and not ask a thing from her dad, as she remembered all she had been through. She knew he would reject her plan anyhow for the night of light that was running around in her mind.

She thought,’’ I am a strong girl; i don’t need to go to any party. Some boring party where stupid people will drink some stupid drink and dance to some stupid song! I am good at home, happier than ever i don’t need to socialise at all. I have myself to talk to at nights, movies to watch, i don’t need someone to entertain me and be my friend. I am fine at home. I don’t want to go to some boring party or meet anyone.

Maybe the reality is harsh. My smile, which was perfect, is lost and i am done trying to find it. Done hoping for a day to come where someone will help fix me and repair my broken laughter and my broken heart as well. I am done watching trailers of dreams that would never appear to be true. I am done hoping for luck to shine on me and a day to come where the sun throws some light on me.

She ate her dinner and went back to her room. As she sat on her bed, she knew the night would be perfect and that was a set of lies she told herself to feel better. But the tear box was full now as she was upset of being trapped again in her home now. She was really scared of her parents, not scared because they were strict or something, but she didn’t want to disappoint because of her or feel low in any way.

Clearly, she hadn’t been a great daughter who excelled in studies or did anything big for them, but her heart was made of gold and the love for them in her heart was pure. She always wanted to see them smiling and happy, and to make them proud of her one day was her aim in life. She longed to see them smile, pat her back and tell everyone they loved their daughter. She feared to let them down and loose her aim of making them proud, so she never really liked asking them for anything.

She convinced herself, ‘’Dad will say no and it is just useless to knock on the door. Anyways, what will i do in that party? I hardly know anyone and i am sure the party won’t get any better if i go there. There will be a bunch of cool kids there and i clearly am far from that category. So it’s better I stay at home and kill the day somehow.” She convinced herself with the self talk. She took out the phone from her pocket and was about to call Kriti to tell her that she won’t be able to make it when suddenly someone knocked at her door. Tara then kept her phone on the side and went to open the door.It was her dad standing there, as he smiled asked her, “So Ritika has a party at her house tomorrow?”

For a few seconds she stared at him with her big eyes, thinking, ‘’ what did this old man just say?’’ She replied, ‘’what? I mean yes dad, it is her birthday tomorrow, but why do u ask?’’ She was scared, astonished and confused, as she stared at him. Suddenly he smiled. For a night stay he had earlier always denied her the permission to go. He told her then, ‘’ where are you lost?” She replied, “No where dad, just how do you know that ritika has called me over for a party tomorrow?”

He told her, ‘’ Kriti called me today. She told me it is Ritikas birthday tomorrow, and that you don’t meet anyone of them. She told me you guys were invited for a night stay and also asked me if I could allow you to go” Tara thought her dad said no and would give her a lecture or something or tell her to meet Ritika later and give her a gift.

She told him,’’ I was going to tell you about this earlier dad” and he went like ‘’Yes you can go to the party.’’ For a moment Tara looked at her dad again with her mouth wide open. He smiled and told her “go tomorrow and enjoy, but call me when you reach there.’’

Tara smiled as she shut the door and was so happy that she could jump. She thought her overloaded mind was over thinking now as she started to think about the basic thing every girl does before going to a party, ‘’Oh what should i wear? What should i carry? Will they like me? Shall i straighten my hair or curl it like Taylor swift’s famous curls?”

She was really excited for the party and couldn’t control her smile now, she called Kriti and told her that she was coming for the party. Kriti told her it would be a great day as all of them would meet after a long time. They started to discuss about the day and she told her to meet her at a metro station point that was near to her place. She would pick Tara up and they would head to Ritika’s house then. Tara was so happy and over whelmed by the thought of having a night off from her boring life and making few friends who might just like her.

She thought about the coming day. It had been a while since she had smiled or enjoyed an outing. All she did was sit at home sipping her coffee, eat a lot of junk food and watch television or go to sleep. She just wanted to enjoy that night, wear a good dress and stop being the boring old fart she had become for a long time. Instead, she wanted to live her life and be the real her for one night and be the girl who knew how to life her life to the best.

A part of her wanted to stay back home and the other part was excited to meet people. For a long time she had over shadowed herself in darkness and not let any other person into her heart to read the tales of her sorrow. She would spend her days sleeping and dreaming about the real world which she had left far beyond.

She tried to stop her ongoing thoughts about tomorrow in order to get a good sleep and escape the harsh reality of life. She could feel the insomnia affect her again. She tried shutting her eyes; stopping her brain from doing the thinking and going to sleep. This was an old method she used, and it always worked. But that night was different. Her eyes weren’t shutting perfectly; she wasn’t able to drive herself back into her dream land. Her sleep hypnosis was not working today. She tried hard to stop thinking and shut her eyes but her eyes would pain. She could see everything clearly in the darkness. She had thoughts in her mind, all she wanted to do was write as her heart was pounding too fast and the words in her mind sounded like an extra ordinary line.

She logged onto the net and switched her blog spot account where she wrote all her feelings down. She then began to pen down few lines based on the thoughts that ran through her mind and she started to write the title “i could see a ray of hope in darkness”.

‘’It was midnight when the world was asleep knitting dreams. I was waiting to knit mine. My eyes wouldn’t shut as my soul was too excited for what was next in store. I could see dreams with my eyes wide open. I could see a ray that would light in the darkness. It didn’t terrify me; it made me brave as i walked around the house knowing that the darkness was my safest spot. I knit dreams with open eyes, thinking about tomorrow. It was a while since i went out and all i needed was a happy time which came after a season of drought. I was finally going to see the waterfall. I would finally enjoy, i would finally have a day to call mine; to be weird and insane. To do something i had longed to do for days and craved for years. I could finally be me for a day.’’

She was an occasional writer. She had thoughts which she expressed in the form of words, which she needed to get out of her system. It had been a while since she had let them go. She penned down lines based on her emotions and thoughts; hoping someone would read it and maybe appreciate her for her work. She needed to share it with someone but the friends in her life were busy with their own work. She didn’t care if anyone liked it or not.

She was always conquered with self doubts, would often think there was no one reading what she wrote. Writing was just a way to calm her restless soul. It was her stress buster and a sigh of relief on a lonely dark day.

It was midnight now and she decided to force herself to sleep. She was hell excited for day to come and the sun to rise. She would finally get up to a ‘good’ morning.

She finally drove herself to sleep, entering the kingdom of her dream which she saw every night. It was like a short film that ran at. She saw all sorts of dreams - the ones where she met a prince, where she went for a trek with her friends and the wet dreams with boys as well. Also she saw this dream that appeared many times, it was also one of her favourite dreams. Here she was not herself that is the dumb, loner, shy and friendless Tara. In fact she was an improved and perfect version of Tara - a girl with a loud voice, tons of talent and attitude.She was everyone’s favourite girl here, the one who was always dressed well, killing them all with her smile and kindness, wearing the shades of bright colours and adored by them all.

She was surrounded by the most loving people who understood her. She stood up for everything that came against her. Her voice was not crushed down by others but raised for her rights. She also had the perfect romance that was sprinkled on her every day. She had the ideal lover she always wanted, someone who loved her so much that she never fell out of love. He was more than a lover. He was her dearest and closest friend, who understood all her problems and all her dreams, who was so positive and who motivated her on every step trying to make her stronger than she was.

In our dreams we always see a picture of perfection that we die to attain in our real lives. It’s a place where no one can laugh at us. They simply love us for who we are - crazy, stupid, funny and insane. Her dream world was a door to escapism as she lost her self doubts there. The dream world was a film that ran throughout the night in her mind.

Her eyes were hit by beaming sun light that came inside her room through the side of the window which as not covered well with the curtain. She turned to the other side in order to sleep for a little more time when there was a knock on the door and the voice of her father saying “Tara wake up! You have to go to your friend’s house today right? Wake up!!”

She opened her big eyes slowly and sat on her bed. She crawled to her bathroom washing her face and brushing her teeth as she looked into the mirror and smiled. Her flaws were perfect she felt, looking into the mirror she said to herself, “the day will be perfect.” She opened her closet to check the stuff she had to carry for the night. She packed her bag with few clothes and she wore her simple blue jeans paired with a long sleeveless black top and a pair of her favourite ballerinas. She packed a kurti for the other day and a pair of shorts and a tee for the night. She applied a line of kohl on her eyes and lip balm on her big pouty lips as she brushed her hair open then as she then walked out of her room then with the bag all packed for the night in her hand.

Kriti called her and told her to come to the metro station then were she would wait for her. Tara’s dad dropped her to the metro station. Tara knew her parents didn’t trust her much like they did her elder sister; not just with directions but with everything. Her mother was someone who would always compare them and say ‘’I wish you were like her.’’

As her father dressed up and took his car keys, they both walked down towards the car. She opened the door and got in and he started the engine of the car as she sat on the other seat with her bag in her hand. He then asked her,”so what are your plans for the day?” Tara looked at him and told him, “nothing dad it just a normal sleepover with old school friends and few of ritika’s friends. We will just chat and maybe order a pizza or something.” He then told her, “Oh i see! Okay, give me a call from her place when you reach her place and make me talk to her ok?”

Tara knew he didn’t trust her much. She had always seen him doubt her on everything but she knew it was only concern. She walked up to the station and got on the train to Kriti’s house. As she reached the station she called Kriti then to ask her the exit gate she was standing on. Tara walked down the stairs as she reached an exit gate, where she saw Kriti standing. She was short, dark in complexion with a good figure and all dressed up in expensive clothes. Tara knew she would raid her sense of fashion as Kriti loved to be superior and better in things than her.

She walked towards the gate then, Kriti screamed “Tara!” She hugged her while Tara stood still and rolled her arms a bit around her to make her feel nice. It was like she met some lover after ages; she hugged her tight for a while when she told her she was so happy to see her after so long. “Come on, let’s go! I have a driver who will drop us till Ritika’s house.”

She looked at Tara then and said “You are looking fine today.” Tara smiled in her head as she complimented Kriti who was dressed in a white cleavage revealing top and a tight jeans with a ballerina and a bag that she always carried and also to the fact that kriti barely complimented her ever and fine was good word out of her dictonery. They walked towards the car, got inside as the driver started the car and Kriti started gossiping. She was someone who took a deep interest in knowing details about others and Tara hated discussing other people. She sat there listening to her talk and hoping the car would reach Ritika’s house soon soher talks would end. Tara never had any hatred for Kriti. There was a time when she loved her the most but she knew Kriti didn’t have a patch of love for her. She just knew how to hurt and crush her. It had been a year since they met and Tara thought it best to forget the past.

She told her about the guys she met; the guy she liked a lot and about others girls who were their school mates and how fat and ugly they had become. Tara just sat there and looked at her and nodded but she really didn’t care as she was drowned in her own problems and discussing someone’s weight was not the solution. Tara then asked her, “Who is Aditya?” Kriti had told her about Aditya who would come along with her to pick up Tara from the metro station and Tara had never heard his name before.

Kriti said, ‘oh! Aditya, he is Ritika’s elder brother. Then it clicked Tara’s mind as she remembered the times when they spoke about their siblings and Ritika had mentioned his name once or twice. So Tara said, “Oh! Okay I thought he was one of your friends.”

‘’Oh yes! He is really close to me you know ritika’s brother; my brother. He is really cool and we gel up pretty well’. Tara smiled and said, “yeah i believe you.” They reached the place and both of them got out of the car and started walking towards her house. Tara took out her phone as she thought to call her father and tell him she reached ritika’s house. She called him and told him, ‘’Dad I reached her house and we are going inside, when kriti took the phone and told her father they were safe and will be going inside her house.’’ Her father kept the phone down after telling her to enjoy.

Kriti pressed the door bell twice. They stood there for a while, when the door opened suddenly then and kriti said, ‘’Hey Aditya!” And Tara who was looking at the garden turned her head to see Ritika’s brother. She stepped in and said hi to. She walked inside his house, as Kriti began talking to Aditya. Tara just went inside and kept her bag in the room when she felt a weird feeling inside. She looked at Aditya and something felt weird inside like she knew him from a long time.

She just sat there quietly as she looked at them talk. She looked around the house, as it was the first time she had stepped into Ritika’s house. They then decided to go out and get some booze from the market, and also get something to munch with the drinks at night as Ritika had gone out for her coaching and would be back in the evening. They sat in Aditya’s car as he drove to them to the store. They started talking a bit and he asked her how she knew Ritika. Tara told him that she was her class mate in high school to which he responded that he never heard her name from Ritika that much.

They reached the liquor store then, as they went and took a round of the store. Kriti picked up two bottles of green apple vodka, while Tara’s interest was in whiskey rather than vodka. As she reached for the bottle of whiskey, Aditya had his hands on the same bottle too. They smiled as she took her hands behind and he picked the bottle of whiskey. Kriti made a face seeing the bottle of whiksey, she said whiskey was for guys.

They collected the drinks and few snacks and drove back to his house, where they sat and Aditya opened the whiskey bottle and poured neat shots in two glasses with ice filled in it. Tara liked whiskey but neat shots were terrible as she nearly puked last time. But the whole thing of sitting with him and drinking and talking was something that was on her head. They sat in Ritika’s room where they saw videos on you tube and spoke to each other.

Initially Tara thought Aditya and Ariti would be engaged in a string of conversations as they knew each other well and she would be the one sitting alone in a corner. But the tables had turned now, as Aditya and Tara spoke like they had known each other for years. Kriti was the one looking at them wierdly as she sat on the corner of the bed.

After few minutes Tara saw a guitar lying on the corner of the bed. She asked him whose it was.He smiled and replied “It is my guitar.” She was happy because she had a thing for music and musicians. They spoke about music, films and whiskey. She told him about her dream playlist and what a big movie freak she was. He told her about certain documentaries and Korean films. This guy was intelligent she was completely swayed away by the way he spoke. Her feelings grew deeper as they conversed more. She came to know he was smart, sweet and just like her. They then started listening to each others favourite music. He made her listen to new dub step tracks he had and she made him listen to kings of leon and Marilyn Manson. Kriti was outraged by our conversation and she went out to buy something to eat from the grocery nearby.

Tara was alone in the room with Aditya. They looked at each other for a while, and just kept talking for hours. She got to know he was moving to Germany for his masters’ degree in the coming month. Tara was shocked and upset, she just met him but there was something in him that knew she was special. He reminded her of her dream man.

She stopped herself then, ‘Tara don’t! Don’t fall for anyone else, seeing your dream guy in them. He is perfect but isn’t that what i was looking in every guy? I mean what if he is not the one? Anyways he is going to Germany. I don’t want to be another one in his parade of girls. She waited for Kriti to come back soon. She came along with chips and a big bottle of Pepsi in her hand as they sat for a while and spoke. Then Ritika came back from her tuition with her friends. All of them were girls, and Tara thought she would definitely try to talk to them as she felt the need to make a good friend.

A part of her was happy she came, but the other wanted to spend some alone time with Aditya.Ritika came and hugged her saying, ‘’How are you doing Tara? Long time!” Tara replied, “i am good! How are you?” Ritika and her friends started smoking along with Aditya. She felt like the odd one out not smoking but was kind of proud about it. Ritika started talking and asked Tara about Abhay. That was like a bomb dropped on Tara’s emotions that she had sort off managed to tuck inside her shielded heart.

“Abhay well, we broke up. It’s been long now” she said with a low voice. She said “No, Tara you guys were like epic, the ideal couple, i mean No!” Tara laughed as they were not even close to it. They changed into their night clothes and ordered pizza. Tara was high on the neat shots and with time it started getting worse. As everyone was getting high on vodka, she and Aditya sneaked out into a corner making whiskey shots. Everyone was so comfortable around him; it was surprising.

I don’t know what she had rushing in her, call it hormones or adrenaline rush, she felt attracted to him. She wanted him to notice her, she wanted to talk to him, tell him how she felt. It was not like she liked him because he was the only guy present; it was because when she saw him she felt something. It was like divine, the way they looked at each other. She had goosebumps every time he took her name; she was numb when he touched her hand accidently. It was like an Indian summer in winter when he smiled, it was like a part of her was lost when she looked at herself in his eyes.

After a few shots of whiskey, she went around the entire house, talking randomly to girls there she didn’t know. She was cracking random jokes and people were laughing. She danced to Bollywood songs but after a while began looking for him. She saw him sitting on a chair and sipping whiskey and decided to talk to him. In the whole drunk crowd there he was who caught her eyes. He turned to her and said, “Well nothing much, sipping my whiskey, acting like the dj tonight, watching my sister dance with her other drunk friends and talking to you now.” She smiled and said “yes so am I. How did I not meet you before this? This is good, the experience of meeting you.”

There are like few guys, by ‘few’ i mean like in decimals; whom you feel really comfortable with. You can tell them anything and everything and you know they won’t judge you or categorise you in a section or in a sub section. She longed for someone like that and he was there right here sitting next to her, shy but nice, smart but kind, just one of the boys you can rely on for life.

“You know I have a dream” she said in her drunk voice. “A dream that is bigger than the earth and wider than the sky, something that makes me happy. I have dreams to act my feelings out on a bigger form and show the world what emotions I have. I want to show them my talent, I want to be someone who is remembered. But I guess I am not that great, I am just a dreamer seeing dreams that will never come true, hiding the reality with my blind folded eyes.”

He laughed and said, “What? No! You are pretty. And who said your dreams are baseless? See when you see a dream and believe in it, always know it is meant for you and it is meant to be manifested. It will come true someday or the other.” They spoke about movies then, and music and then he just walked away to meet his friend who had entered the party.

She wish he would stay longer. She then went and sat next to Kriti and they spoke about guys. Tara went to the other room and took out her phone. As she went through her phone list there were people from the past who hurt her in some way. She kept my phone aside, and sucked in her tears and decided to get another shot.

As she headed to get another shot, Aditya was there with his friends. She wanted to talk to him so she went towards him but he ignored her. He took his friends to another room and tried to avoid meeting her. She asked him if she could make a shot for him or not, but he declined and walked away and sat with his friends and the other girls.

She was hurt, it was like a big ball wrecking her inside. She felt worse, she hated being ignored and avoided. She wanted this night to be the best night of her life, but here she was drinking alone and drowned in tears. It was hard for her to hide her emotions. In order to suck the pain she drank more and more. She had neat shots and danced her pain off. She just wanted to pretend for the world that she was strong and crazy. She was not fooling herself but to fool others with her fake smile was the best thing to do.

She was high like a plane in the sky. She laughed at random things, she couldn’t walk straight, she gave weird advice to girls about loving themselves and how pretty everyone is, she drunk dialled her friends and told them she love them, she went to each room to say hi to everyone and finally fell on the bed laughing. She rested her legs which were tired due to the endless drunken dancing. She closed my eyes for a bit, and as she opened them she saw Aditya talking to a girl. She felt sad and angry and kicked him by pretending to stretch her legs.

She accidently threw the glass next to her while stretching her hands and Kriti rushed into the room. “Oh my God! Tara you are out. You need to sleep. Go sleep. Aditya! Please take her to the other room, I’ll clear this thing.”

Tara replied “I am not drunk, do you hear me? I am perfectly fine. I don’t need to sleep and anyone to tell me to sleep!”

“Tara, come on”, Aditya said. “Hold my hand, come here. You need rest.” He held her hand softly and with each step she trembled and fell on his arms and laughed.

He took her to the next room. She was leaning completely on his arms. He made her sit on the bed “Lie down Tara, you need to rest.” She laughed. “Rest? What? No! I need to party! I am absolutely fine.” She fell down on the bed as she tried to stand on her feet again. “Oh my god! What is wrong with this floor? Every time I try to get up i fall! So weird!”

He laughed and said, “Yes the floor is completely misplaced. I’ll get it repaired soon.” As she lay down on the bed relaxing her brain from the alcohol’s effect, he told her to shut her eyes and sleep. “Sleep okay? You will feel better when you wake up tomorrow. I guess you took a lot of whiskey, right? Anyways just sleep okay, ill turn the lights off.”

As he got up from the bed and was about to leave, she grabbed his hand and said, “Don’t go, please? Stay here.” He turned around and looked at her, and sat down. “So tell me”, he said, “How are you feeling now?”

“Well i am high right now, not able to walk on my toes and lonely.”

“Lonely? Why lonely? There are so many people here.”

She smiled, “Ah, a lonely person is one who feels alone in a crowded place, no matter how happening the place is.”

He could see her eyes were wet, he could sense the pain in her. That is when he lay down next to her. “Tell me your pain, tell me what bothers you?”

She told him she hated to share her issues and look like a sympathy seeking bitch. He smiled and told her, it was not bad to share pain, it was a relief if the pain was shared. He told her lonely is just a word and that even in an empty room you could smile and live your life with no regrets.

She loved how he read her mind. She loved how he told her he was there to help her seek happiness. She said, “Life for me was a bitch. I tried fitting into places, small and big, a ditch or a dungen. No matter how hard I try, I just fail at each thing - relationships, love, friendship, intelligence. It is just so disheartening to be bad at everything you know.”

“It is like, there is this party going on, I dance for a while and then i just find myself alone. I feel there is no one there to look at me, to talk to me, to tell me I am good at anything. I am here alone sipping my drink and wishing I was this other girl on my friend list, who is so freaking pretty and has this actor-like boyfriend.”

“Hey! Who told you aren’t pretty? Tell me? Like seriously, that dude must be blind!” he said.

She laughed with tears rolling down her cheeks. “Ho he isn’t blind. I guess he is just seeing the reality and I am not looking at the mirror correctly. I mean, I always got mixed responses, few told me I was as good looking as any actress and the rest said that I was just so ugly!”

“Oh right! Those must be a bunch of ugly and jealous people” he told her. “I mean come on, girls hate each other. I haven’t seen girls complimenting other girls unless they are a bunch of hot and horny lesbians.”

She laughed. “Yeah but why would anyone be jealous of me? I am not that pretty. I mean if I was, you wouldn’t have ignored me today.”

He smiled, “Okay yes i avoided you, but it was because I thought you were really pretty and interesting. I thought you liked me only because you were drunk and I didn’t want you to regret it later.”

She smiled and said: why would i regret it? I mean you are a nice guy and I just loved talking to you.”

“So tell me tara, what bothers you so much? Tell me everything, I am here.” She told him all about herself from the start, hoping he would understand her better as he knew where she came from and who she really was. She shared the story of her life with a complete stranger at a random party. But he really wasn’t a stranger after all. With that comfort, and the ability to read the pain in her mysterious eyes, he was either a mind reader or a fortune teller.