This made me laugh.

Agreed with the below - it’s a lovely little throwaway phrase by the narrator, showing just how "so what?" the concept of magicians saving the world has become. With just a short sentence you’ve managed to say a lot about the world the story takes place in, which is very well done.

Hi there!

I’ve entered my novel Oak and Stone: A Book of Enai into the Geek & Sundry fantasy writing contest. I would be eternally grateful if anyone would consider having a read, leaving some feedback and following/pre-ordering if you like what you read.

https://www.inkshares.com/books/oak-and-stone-a-book-of-enai

Oak and Stone is the first book in a trilogy of high fantasy epics for grown-ups in the Steven Erikson/Robert Jordan style. Think multiple point-of-view characters, numerous twisting and interlinking plots, and long story arcs with plenty of room for character development.

I’m new to Inkshares, but I’m doing my best to get as involved as possible with the community, and I’m an active follower, commenter and reviewer. If you’d like some reciprocal feedback, then please let me know and I’d love to take a look at your work - I’m always interested in finding more great stuff to read!

Thanks in advance, and I hope you enjoy my writing.

Sam

 Although I’ve become a poor blogger with no sense of schedule over the last year or two, I still have a blog which counts several hundred page-views even when I don’t post, every month.  Much more when I do.  Starting this coming monday (very much in honor of Draftshares which has so recently ended) I would like to invite Inkshares authors the chance to display themselves and their projects on my blog.  Basically it would be an author profile and an introduction to their stories, with one or two images of their choosing.

Obviously, I don’t promise any specific results.  It’s only a chance to spread the word of your project on another tiny piece of this infinite little internet of ours.  If you are interested in taking part, message me here or post on this forum thread.  I can’t say that everyone will be able to do this, since I’ll only be posting one profile per week, but I’ll do my best to spread the love!

If there is enough interest, I might even turn it into two posts a week; one for drafts, and one for projects already in the pre-order phase.  

Please let me know if you have any thoughts or ideas about this!

If you want to check out the blog first: It’s Right Here

I agree with Monica - this prologue reads less like an epic history and more like a Wikipedia page; a bit too much like a list of events rather than an introduction to a living, breathing world. It feels as though you tried to cram too much scene-setting and contextualisation into a short prologue - perhaps this detail would work better incorporated more gradually and organically into the story itself, through narration and/or character dialogue or written thought?

It’s great that you have such a rich history for your story locale, but I’m not convinced this is the best way to bring it out, certainly not all in one go.