I agree with Christopher. It flows nicely as it is now. I’m enjoying getting tidbits of his past as we go. Gradually revealing his backstory (or providing it in its entirety later) gives the reader something to look forward to.
The sun is dying, depleted by the energy demands of interstellar travel. Treb must compete with 40,000 other transhumans in the last crowdfunding contest to secure one of the final tickets. Get ready, they are about to reset the system.
A crew of artists on a generation-defining journey to self-discovery becomes entangled in a web of doubt, deception, and a desperate desire to demystify the power of art, love and madness.
Hi Suaine! You’ve got a good start to your project page. I have some suggestions, though everyone has their own style, of course...
I followed the link to your visuals for your characters (Derek Hale!! Grumpy cuddle monster of my heart!!) and I think you should put those images on your project page! The cover you have at the link might even be better than the one you have up on Inkshares, since people connect better to faces. Faces are good to have on your book cover.
You should add any links you might have to blogs (that you want to associate with your campaign), twitter, facebook, pinterest, etc etc.
I’d mention the main characters by the names you call them throughout the book in your synopsis - do you call them Captain Pierce and Commander Pham, or Meg and Jasmine? The former sounds more distancing, and you want people to connect with them as quickly as possible.
Other than that, the only thing I tend to recommend is coming up with some comparisons to help people understand your book more easily - "If you liked ___________ and _____________, you’ll love my book!"
"A cross between ___________ and ____________, etc."
"If you loved ________________ but wanted more ___________, you’ll love my book!"
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