Hello Ladies & Gents,
I know I don’t update like I should. It’s a character flaw I’m working on. I spend all my royalty money on therapy. I’ll get better
Here’s the news today! I just got final interior layout files from the absolutely awesomest people ever at Girl Friday Productions and the book looks great. Sexy even. Now all I have to do is send my final cover art over to Inkshares and this sh*t is on like Donkey Kong.
That will be happening today. As soon as I finish writing this update actually. So to celebrate I want to share something I found a couple days ago that I had forgotten existed. This is a sketch I drew almost 15 years ago while the idea for this book was floating around in my head.
I know it might not make a lot of sense since you guys haven’t read the book yet but I thought you might enjoy a little bit of what went on in my brain while I was thinking about this story.
Thank you all so much for following, for preordering, for supporting this book that I really hope brings you some joy this summer.
Thank you! - Landon
Dearest Annabel,
My love, I must accept the fact that I will never lay eyes on you again. It is a hard truth but it is truth. I will never hold you again. Never taste the sweet nectar that is your kiss. Never walk hand in hand with you in our beautiful spring gardens. Never hold you close in moments of outrageous passion. This realization, more than anything else, has brought me to despair. I need you to know my intentions were pure. If you believe nothing else my dear heart, believe that. My entire life has been dedicated to this project. This impossible dream. I hoped to make a better world for you. A better world for everyone.
But I totally screwed the pooch on this one darling. Like it’s really, really bad. It didn’t work at all. I really thought opening that dimensional portal would be a good idea. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine freaking monsters would come out. So many monsters. Holy crap.
I can hear them gnawing through the blast doors now. Soon they’ll have me and my life will end in swift and undignified agony. I shall wait for you my dear. Across the river of death in the valley of eternity. I will wait until I can hold you again. If you’ll have me. I fear my wait will be a short one because Ted’s dumb ass left the teleporter turned on. For all I know these foul beasts have already stumbled into it and teleported home. In which case you may already be dead.
In which case… my bad.
Yours forever, Archie
Happy Friday. The production process continues on Women Like Us, with the copy edit due back to me for review next week. I can’t wait to see it! In the meantime, cover design is almost complete as well. There’s a new post on the book’s Facebook page, and you can check that out here (and by the way soon there will be a page for the book on Amazon too). Here’s that Facebook link. Please hit the like button on the page if you haven’t yet.
https://www.facebook.com/womenlikeusnovel/
Also, while I have your attention, check out fellow Inkshares author JF Dubeau’s A God In The Shed, which is almost at full funding and is most worthy of your attention. Here’s that link:
Thanks all, as always, for the support.
I’m out of my head thrilled to share Susie Kirkwood’s cover design for SINGLE VERSION. I’ve suddenly reached new levels of excitement about this book.
I mean...look at this gorgeous thing.
Dear Mr. Sugar Smack,
Firstly, thank you for your business again this tax season. As usual your financial situation presents some unique challenges for myself and the tax codes of our great country. Working with you certainly keeps me on my toes! Accounting, like pimpin’, ain’t easy but I assure you it is necessary.
I am writing to respond to the various inquires you texted last night:
1. I’m sorry to say you may not write off your condom purchases. While I agree it is a necessary piece of safety equipment for your employees, attempting to use it as a tax deduction would be tantamount to admitting that your employees have sex for money, which as we have discussed repeatedly, is illegal.
2. Regarding the medical expenses stemming from the Repetitive Strain Injuries to your “Pimp Hand” you may only write off the amount for the year that exceeds 7.5% of your adjusted gross income. This unfortunately will not apply as you did not exceed that amount.
3. As you know, to write off the $7500 rims for your work vehicle, you need to adequately demonstrate that A: they were a necessary purchase and B: that they significantly increased the value of your business. I think you have achieved this with your extensive spreadsheet on the subject. Thank you for your excellent documentation. Quick question before referencing the depreciation chart, are they spinners?
4. If your pimp chalice is officially recognized by the Vatican, you will be able to write of a percentage of its value next year after you gift it to Rooster. Just be sure to have it appraised by a reputable antiquities dealer and keep a copy of that written documentation.
I think that addresses all of your concerns. If you have any other questions don’t hesitate to contact me.
Respectfully,
Roland Crestfield, C.M.A., C.P.A.
Check out Landon’s novel Monkey Business and share it with your peoples. Coming May 24, 2016 from Quill.
Happy freaking tax day homies.
Here’s the thing Ladies and Gents,
JF Dubeau and Paul Inman do a podcast called WriteBrain. In one of the recent episodes they interviewed Mr. G Derek Adams, author of Asteroid made of Dragons. Derek said something that struck home with me which was basically, the best way to promote your stuff is to make more stuff. I like that. I’m not great at writing these updates. Or blogging. Or social networking in a constructive way. I just like writing stuff that makes me laugh. In that spirit, I’m just going to share some stuff and I hope you like it. If you like it I hope you’ll check out my book and perhaps share my book. Either way I hope it gives you a laugh.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
