Theresa Cavagnaro highlighted an excerpt from Leaving

Leaving 3037 words (12 minute read) by Theresa Cavagnaro Chapter 25 Dani knew Theo shifted from his unconscious state into natural sleep when the white prairie dress dream returned and she woke with the usual spurt of long forgotten or suppressed memories and the sound of Theo mumbling in his sleep. She knew he was out of danger when he woke and asked in a raspy voice for water. By then Dani had explored the cavern and found a way to the surface. A narrow steep stair step was carved into the inside wall that opened into a small cave with a narrow opening that let in bright daylight. The bright light of day hurt her eyes at first but they quickly adjusted. The air in the upper cave stirred with a draft from outside that was warm and balmy, even a little humid. There was another fire pit, a much smaller one and there again was a stack of wood nearby, not nearly as old as the pile down below. She made a quick assessment of the chamber, seeing immediately it was a better shelter than the one in the belly of the hill. Its only drawback was there was no immediate source of water. The cave opened out onto a wide ledge that overlooked a thick forest. The ledge was high up on the slopes of a mountain, high enough that she could look out across the rough top of the canopy. The first order of business was to provide better shelter for Theo so she spent some time in the near forest on the mountain’s steep slopes searching for branches long and strong enough to serve as tent poles. Less natural light made it through the densely packed Fughari and the canopy undulated with the opalescent shimmer even in daylight adding a disorienting liveliness to the shadows of the thick forest growth. It played tricks on her eyes and after a lengthy search with the poles she needed in hand she thankfully returned to the cavern to tackle the problem of constructing with her tube tent and the emergency blanket, combined with the poles, a shelter that would act as a buffer against the damp air of the cave and at the same time radiate heat into the tent. The cavern environment’s only support structures were the stalactites and stalagmites or the cavern wall, but none were positioned near the fire pit and there was not enough space between the mineral deposits for a tent except the space where the entrance to the fire circle was accommodated. For practical and safety reasons Dani decided it unwise to block that space. Her only other option was to drill holes in the floor to support her tent poles. She used Theo’s rock collecting tools: a pike and a steel hammer. The work of boring holes in the rock floor of the cave kept her awake and when sleep overtook her, as it inevitably did, she was so bone tired she slept like a rock. Sleep was to be avoided as much as possible. She did not want to give the King another chance to probe her brain looking for information that was none of his business. Before she inserted the poles or raised the tent she had to move Theo. She decided finally that Theo’s needs outweighed his privacy and quickly, but carefully removed the contents of his haversack. The garments at the bottom of Theo’s bag appeared to be religious vestments. These were wrapped in a green cloak made of light weight wool that was soft and certain to be warm. It would do. She removed the cloak; the rest of the garments she carefully returned to the bag. Dani put the emergency blanket aside and got the cloak under Theo and used it to drag him straight off the tent. During the move in spite of being dragged across the uneven floor Theo never stirred. She helped herself to some water before tackling the work of getting the tent up, arranged the tent so that it opened facing the fire. At the back she attached the Mylar sheet and immediately the air inside the tent warmed. By the time she had Theo back inside the tent and covered with the cloak she curled up beside him and slept, overcome with exhaustion. When she woke she heard Theo muttering. “Corners like it’s on rails,” he said in flawless English, echoing her very thoughts in response to a memory of driving her Geo Storm on South Stream Road from Bennington to Pownal on the day Ethan had sold the car to her for $1,000 dollars. It had belonged to Aunt Birdie’s Great-Aunt Tildie, who had bought it new in ’93 and drove it around town until her death at the age of 99 in 2004. It was still like new and had under a thousand miles on it. Great-Aunt Tildie had not got out often, but she had doted on her “sports car.” Ethan had talked his parents into selling it to Dani as a graduation gift, cheap, and they had happily agreed. She quickly backed out of the tent and stared, not at Theo, but at the dark winking blue of the sapphire. She busied herself at the fire – much smaller and more manageable now that the tent was rigged with the reflective emergency blanket. Only after her thumping heart quieted did she dare return to Theo. His wounds were healing nicely. His jaw was shadowed with the stubble of his returning beard, except the scabbed over burn spot on his jaw that had cracked open. The blisters on his lips had scabbed over and were healing quickly. Dani squeeze water into his mouth and applied the last of the pooke to the burn; it worked better than the triple anti bacterial ointment. The skin on his face had blistered and now it was peeling. Between that and the scar under his eye and hi newly arranged nose, he looked awful though most of the swelling and the redness in the cut under his eye was diminished. While Theo slept, Dani made short trips to the forest to gather wood from the nearby slopes. She could never tell until she got up to the top what time of day it was. On one trip it was night and she sat on the ledge and conjugated verbs in French while she enjoyed the flaring colored lights in the Fugharim until the cold started to seep into her bones. On other trips she looked for any natural resources that could be commandeered and put to practical use. (These she stored in the upper level cave.) She set two traps. She located a water source: a waterfall that tumbled recklessly down the steep incline of the mountain a few meters into the forest. Getting water from the source to the new shelter posed a problem. Her water bottles and Theo’s bowl and cup were not inadequate. She discovered a log that when hollowed out looked big enough that it could be used as a bucket. She carried it back down to the cavern and sat beside the fire, using Theo’s pick to chop the interior meat of the log, and then hollow it out scraping with a wide circular slice of obsidian. She put the chips and shavings aside, to be taken back to the top later. The small bits and pieces of wood would make excellent kindling. Whittling kept her hands busy, but it left her mind free to wander. In the quiet of the cavern, the distant echo of water flow and the drip-drip-drip of mineral water was the only accompanying voice to her lonely thoughts. Her mind chased after unreachable answers to questions she could barely formulate. Why had Mama abandoned her? What about that letter? She struggled to remember had there been a letter with the box in the days following Mama’s sudden disappearance? Why had Maris changed so drastically and was it her fault? What motivated Theo? What was a Bond? Why did the sapphire frighten her so profoundly? How would she ever get Mama back home when her fear of it grew more profound every day? She wished Theo would wake up but that only started her worrying about how to get him to the top. When her wandering thoughts became too much for her she put the bucket aside and picked up the Psalter and read it aloud to Theo. The meaning of it was mostly incomprehensible to her, but all the same, somehow, it gave her comfort. She was sitting beside him, holding his hand and reading from the Psalter when he finally woke. “Danielle?” She immediately leaned in close to his face, gripping his hand. Her fingers were calloused and a blister had formed on her thumb from gouging out the bucket with the half-moon sliver of obsidian. It stung when her hand connected with his. His free hand came up and clawed at the bandage that covered his eyes. She pushed his hand away from his face. “Leave it.” She said. “Your wound was infected and I had to open it up and let it drain. Its healing nicely, but you’ll tear the new stitches out if you don’t leave it alone. How are you feeling?” For an answer he sat up and at the same time he pushed the bandage off and gingerly prodded the scar under his eye while he glared at her. She had anticipated this and welcomed his anger because sparring with Theo was preferable to being alone with her thoughts. His head bumped into the tent. He took in the shelter and what lay beyond which was the small fire and the greater darkness of the huge cavern. “Where are we?” “In a cave, deep in a mountain, the Lone Mountain, I think. There is a smaller cave near the surface that is warm and dry. It’s open to the summer breeze. We will move you there as soon as you are ready, before you are ready if I can think of how to get you up all those steps.” “Steps?” She poured treated water into his cup and handed it to him. “Drink.” He drank greedily. “It tastes odd.” “That would be from the water purification tablet. Don’t worry its perfectly harmless.” He lifted an eyebrow but did not pursue the topic further. “How did we get here?” “The Stone brought us here." “Why did you do it?” He whispered. “Don’t you know?” He shook his head. What would it take to make him understand that he was important to her? She was furious, but she kept her answer neutral. “You are my friend. I could not just stand by and let them kill you. “ “You still believe in my innocence?” She answered him bluntly to disabuse him of that idea. “You raped Ruby.” He turned his head away. “Yes.” “How could you?” It seemed to Dani that rape was about the most un-Theo-like behavior; beyond comprehension. “I was not exactly at my best.” It was a callous comment buffered only by the bitter self recrimination in his voice. There was no consolation in his answer and even less in his voice. “Bad,” Dani said at risk of sounding callous now too. “But certainly not bad enough to warrant the death penalty. Why did you choose it? Why did you give up? I can see you wanting to get away from me; but how could you give up on your promise to Anthony?” Sitting up, even for such a short duration had already sapped all his energy and he laid back and murmured just before he slipped into another slumber. “I did it for you.” When Theo woke again later they ate roast quibshift and onion from a bunch Dani had dug up from under a leaning Wooknut sapling. He chugged water between bites. After, when he finally noticed his blanket was Anthony’s cloak he stared at it in silence but said nothing else about it. He examined the tent and studied the emergency blanket and its shimmering surface. She said nothing about his last devastating comment. “Where are my clothes?” He looked around, suddenly aware that some of his things were missing. “Where is my pack?” After Theo exhausted himself taking inventory of all the supplies Dani had left behind to save him, she left him sleeping and climbed to the upper chamber where it was daybreak and returned shortly to put together a simple breakfast of fresh berries and a fish that she caught, cleaned, filleted and then cooked on a flat rock beside the fire. She woke Theo and after he quickly devoured the scant meal he started complaining again. “You should not have interfered.” He said. “And let you die? Then what would become of me?” The funny farm was what, she thought, a visit from the men in white coats with a straightjacket and a long needle attached to a vial full of the sort of anti-psychotic cocktail that produced drool. Theo blinked. “You are about as likely to be institutionalized as I am likely to tell you about Anthony.” Her worst fear realized, Dani retorted. “Stop reading my mind.” “If only I could. You should have let me die. It was the only sure way to sever this bond.” “There has to be another way.” “The only other way is for you to take the Sapphire back, but since you fear it more than I do, that is not likely to happen.” She looked at him helplessly. How was it her fault? Was she to blame that the King gave her a magical jewel and never bothered to explain to her the consequences of putting it on? Suddenly, seemingly without provocation Theo’s temper erupted. “You should not have put the Stone around my neck.” That’s what she was to him, she thought, a millstone around his neck. Then her anger kicked in. “You should not have stolen it!” “I did not steal it.” “Oh? You just borrowed it, I suppose? You let me think I was trapped here. You let me think it was lost for good and I had no hope of returning home.” “You knew I had it all along.”“No.” She did not even bother to yell at him for reading her mind. “I do not need to read you mind to know this, Danielle; it became evident that you knew I had the Medallion when you stopped fretting about it. “From the moment you put that thing on you were bound to its Keeper. It draws you, but you resist it. Your desire for me, this show of loyalty, is nothing more than your need to restore your Bond to the Stone, except that desire is eclipsed by your fear of it.” “No!” She said again, more forcefully. Though his accusation made no sense at all it still bore the ring of truth. How could she be afraid of a thing, this object of beauty, this Stone of Power? Was the power behind it what frightened her? “When you transferred the Stone to me, you put me in the middle of that bond. I am not trained for this. I do not know what I am doing. It takes years of training to prepare an In Between. You should take this stone back, Danielle. Go to the foot of the mountain where the King’s guard certainly awaits you and let them take you to the King’s mountain where you belong. The King and his people will know where to find a skilled Thrithing’s practitioner.” She wished, oh how she wished she could read his mind and see why he had taken the stone in the first place. At the very least she deserved to know the reason. As far as she was concerned that unexplained detail lay at the heart of everything they had gone through since they met. But the bond only worked one way; she could not read his mind. It was so unfair. She was at a severe disadvantage. She could no longer keep Theo guessing about how much she knew about Anthony, there would be no keeping him off balance. He had the upper hand. He was in control. But worse than that, Theo seemed to think she had no feeling for him at all and she knew her love for him was real. She was a true friend and even without the complication of the Thrithing’s Bond and his crimes she would have risked everything to save him from the Crucifixion Tree. All he could think about was what a burden she was and after she had come so close to reuniting with Mama but instead had put his safety first. She threw herself at him with a snarl and with her fists flying. How dare he think so little of her. Even in his weakened state, Dani was no match for him. In very quick order he had her legs pinned beneath one leg and his two arms wrapped around her middle and her arms trapped beneath them. She waited for the scolding, for the rebuke that tantrums will not be tolerated, but he only spoke her name, in a tired and gruff whisper. “Danielle. Danielle. I sought not to rid myself of you, but to rid you of me.” After she stopped struggling he whispered in her ear. “It will be all right. I will not leave you. I will not leave you to deal with this alone.” He must have spoken to some deeply hidden fear she knew nothing about because his promise cut her to the core, her throat tightened and great sobs erupted and poured out tears of anguish so powerful her body shook under its power.

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Theresa Cavagnaro highlighted an excerpt from Leaving

Chapter 24 Dani slipped into another mommy dream but it was unlike any mommy dream ever. She was seated in the hull of a ship as the King entered, carrying the Queen into the interior of the transport. It was a simple machine that appeared bigger inside than it looked when you considered the size on the outside. How she knew the look of its exterior she did not know because she had never seen the transport. It was not luxurious as Dani supposed the transport of a king would be but was only the hold of the ship with wide benches affixed to the exterior walls where passengers were to be seated and a whole lot of empty space in between. The King settled the queen in a prone position on the bench opposite Dani’s perch. He took a blanket from an overhead compartment and shook it out. He was lean but tall, a physically imposing figure in gold trimmed blue tunic with a high collar and belted with a very old yet intriguing belt etched with symbols and buckled with antique silver. His straight blond hair was not long the way she remembered it but cut short and full. His beard was neatly trimmed. A simple gold crown graced his brow. His entrance into the ship’s hold seemed to shrink the space considerably. But as impressive his size, Dani knew had he been a man of average size and height his very presence would have still filled the space. The Queen was in the process of sitting up. She was older than Dani expected; she was thirty-six by Dani’s count, but looked to be in her mid forties. Her strawberry blond hair, so wispy and fine, fell straight down her back to her waist with several tiny braids framing her face, drawn back and loosely clasped in an ornate gold clip at her nape. She was dressed similarly to the King, her blue gold trimmed hip length tunic showed off her slender build. She wore a gold coronet with an emerald cut sapphire at the apex. They both looked spent. “Sarah, lay down.” She shooed him with a wave of her hand. “I am fine. Stop worrying.” He sat beside her, folded the blanket in half and arranged it on her lap. “You are so pale. The sooner we get you home the better." Four security guards entered the hold each occupying a corner of the plain compartment. The men were dressed in identical gray uniforms with thin twin gold armbands on each arm. They had the bearing of secret service agents, eyes fixed on nothing yet intently aware of everything, their bodies at ease yet ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice. None spoke. Mama held the King’s hand. “Stop fussing; you know I had to see my Dani.” Her accent reflected her English roots. “Even so.” He sat beside her, folded his neat long hands over hers and kissed her forehead. She leaned into him and his arm drew her in. “Dani was beautiful. She was younger than I expected and too thin. She looked so peaceful I could hardly credit Brandyn’s account of her behavior. Berserk was his word for it. Imagine. They feared she would hurt herself, they claimed. Do you believe it?” It took Dani a moment to realize Mama was talking about her early visit to Maddie’s tent and not the spectacle on the mound. “More likely they feared she would cause trouble at the trial and wanted to keep her out of the way.” “A lot of good it did.” “Isa took me aside between meetings this morning and bawled me out for not informing Dani of the mystical qualities of the Thrithing Stone. So I bawled her out, forcing Dani to choose her Bond under such inadvisable circumstances without first learning the particulars – especially knowing she was dealing with our daughter.” “You have to agree, Ryan, that Theo is an excellent choice for the job, no matter how the choice was made.” Dani felt a thrill of nostalgia, hearing Mama call the King, Ryan, instead of using the proper Havenish pronunciation: Rhjion (Ree-own ), still, after all these years when in the good old days he had insistently corrected her again and again. This time he did not correct her. “A good choice? What good can come of a male-female bond; it is untenable.” "Theo already cares for Dani and that very human bond was forged well before the Bond was made." “You learned this when you visited him this morning?" Dani perked up. “Mmm-hmm.” "What else?" “Theo chose death tonight to sever his bond with Dani because he feels the weight of his crimes and he does not want Dani added to his list of victims.” “He will do well to see that she is not.” The King stared into the depths of the ship’s hold, a stern expression on his face. Mama turned his head back with her hand on his chin. "I made every effort to convince him otherwise, but he is stubborn to a fault. There is no doubt in my mind, wherever they are, that Dani is in good hands.” “As is Theo, apparently” "As for me," The Queen admitted, “I want nothing to do with Isa or Maddie for a good long while; I am so angry with the way they treated Dani and Theo.” “This will all blow over soon enough.” The king gave a dismissive gesture. “Will you tell them about Theo?” What about Theo? Dani leaned forward. “Now that it no longer matters?” The king said with a taut expression and a hint of bitterness in his voice that vanished in the next breath. Agony came into his eyes suddenly and he spoke in a strangled voice. “Theo might have died out there!” “Isa had to offer the Tree as a punishment, it was the only way to satisfy the public outrage; I doubt she expected Theo to choose it.” “She is not that stupid. She knew very well he would choose it, in fact I warrant she counted on him to choose it. The cruelty of the punishment aside, to use the Tree as an instrument of death is an abomination; I have warned her repeatedly … I believed she was finally done with crucifixions, but the fact that she is still in possession of that crossbeam proves she is still holding it in reserve for special cases. There can be no special cases, Sara. I am not at all pleased with Isa’s handling of this situation. Now I must remain behind and apply diplomacy.” He sounded supremely put out. “She may get more than she bargained for. There are plenty here who would not approve of that spectacle or wish to repeat it.” Her mother’s comment was not in keeping with Dani’s view on the topic. She chalked it up to her usual tendency to put a positive spin on everything evil. When the King spoke again after a few moments of silence, he was all business and matter of fact. “I should be home soon. It all depends on what it takes to get this situation under control – a few days at most.” “Now you want to step in and take control?” Dani shouted, completely surprised by her sudden vehemence. “Now, after Theo was nearly killed? You are the King. You should have stopped this before it even got started!” Dani tried to stand up but her body was stuck. No one heard her. She might as well have been in a fish bowl. What kind of dream was this? At once the King turned his head and looked over his shoulder in Dani’s direction. His hand drifted up and poised near his golden Thrithing’s medallion, but stopped shy of touching it. “What is it?” The Queen peered in the same direction. He said nothing at first and Dani stared back mesmerized. Did he see her? Had he heard her after all? “Dani-girl.” He whispered. “Dani?” The Queen spoke sharply. “Do you see her? Can you tell where she is?” Her hand reached for the stone but the King interrupted the gesture, wrapping his long fingers around her slender wrist. “Do not touch it; better to be safe.” “But I want to see. The rift cannot still be open.” “I cannot see her.” But he continued to look to the side of the compartment where Dani sat on the hard bench watching them breathless and intrigued, her anger temporarily forgotten. The king’s expression was thoughtful. “She is eavesdropping…” His voice trailed off. “Like always.” The Queen affirmed her eyes bright with hope while a fond smile tugged at her lips. “Impertinent.” The king commented with a smile of his own and just as Dani knew it would the smile transformed his stern features and tempered the disapproval in his voice. Terrible longing filled her and on the tail end of it was her anger, just as terrible and far more palatable. “Theo must be unconscious; he is not blocking the connection.” What did that mean? “Can you tell where she is?” The queen asked again, leaning closer. He pushed his thoughts into Dani’s mind so suddenly she had no time to react properly but sat there and let him, feeling his mental fingers sift through her memories like flipping through file folders until he found the correct one. “They are in a cave, in a mountain deep.” “Which mountain?” “Dani does not know.” “Bhria?” “I am on it.” The tips of his fingers touched his sapphire. His attention skipped over Dani, passed through Theo’s unconscious mind and spoke directly to the sapphire around Theo’s neck. He turned and told the Queen in a firm voice, “Lone Mountain.” “So far? We should redirect Rhany and his team immediately.” The King shook his head. “By the time Rhany’s team arrived Theo and Dani will have moved on. I doubt Theo will stay in one place for long.” “Then we will send them on ahead. I will have to back up quite a bit, how many days do you think?” She had a bemused expression Dani was all too familiar with, her lost in a daydream expression. The King did not answer her question but continued to look in Dani’s direction as if he could see her sitting there. When he answered the Queen he said. “At least now we know why we lost contact with Rhany, why he did not join up with Maddie upon Dani’s and Theo’s capture. He and his team were diverted.” He said this with a sly smile. Here was another one of those moments when Dani sensed something significant in the conversation but did not fathom what. They continued to converse quietly, aware now of their audience. Clearly the topic was private. They seemed to have forgotten Dani. After several moments the King and Queen together looked in the direction of the bench on the opposite side of the hold of the ship. “Dani, your mother wants to know, have you read her letter?” His hand enfolded his medallion as he connected a route through Theo’s mind and used Dani’s sapphire to project his thoughts into her head. She watched him speak to her from across the cramped chamber, his mouth moving, heard his voice there but at the same time she heard his voice in her head. The bodyguard detail seemed not to think anything unusual about the King speaking to a blank wall. “You have the sapphire so we can safely deduce you have the box or at least the contents of the box. The letter was with the box. Your limited understanding of the Sapphire’s special properties suggests to us that you have not read the letter. Your mother left the letter and all the contents of the box to help prepare you for your journey here; to make the transition from Earth to Haven safer. “Please listen to me carefully, Dani. You are asleep and when you awaken you may not remember this, or you may be tempted to ignore us. You must not. It is of utmost importance that you read the letter. To help you remember take this small token of my affection with you when you wake up.” He opened his hand and breathed on the Sapphire cradled in his wide palm. The hiss of his breath rushed toward her like a wind as it passed from stone to stone into Theo’s mind and out again until it entered her dream and the gentle waft of it stirred the curls resting on her forehead. She sat stiff – arrested - her white knuckled fingers clenched the rim of the bench on which she sat. Carried on the wind was the scent of wet snow, the chilled air that can only be felt when the snow falls deep out of season, the warm golden light of an October sun and deep inside the fullness of this sensual memory wafted a hint of Felder – his scent, the scent of his home world that persisted on him even after many weeks of repeated showers using Irish Spring. Dani drew one leg up propping her heel on the bench and tucked in as if to take refuge behind it. A commotion erupted at the entrance to the transport’s bay. Distracted, The King released his sapphire, stood and left the queen with nothing more than a peck on the forehead and a quick squeeze of her hand as he turned away. The King handed two women up and departed taking two of the guard with him. They were immediately replaced by two new guards. Their uniforms were similar to those of the royal guard, but the new arrivals wore brass armbands, wide and sleek and etched with three vertical wavy lines. The Queen opened her arms to the younger of the two women. This girl went to the Queen without hesitation. She walked with a pronounced limp favoring her right leg and her left arm was bound to her body with leather binding. Her lithe body was hidden beneath layers of light weight cloth and her face obscured by a veil and the large cowl like hood of her cloak. Only her eyes were visible, a lustrous green brimming with tears. Dani’s breath caught in her throat. “Queen mother,” Ruby spoke in a harsh whisper as if afraid of the grating sound of her own voice. The queen enveloped the girl in her arms. Dani felt a spurt of jealousy, a shameful reaction given the girl’s history, but she could not help it. Two crates were lifted into the ship under the older woman’s direction and arranged on a set of skids bracketed to the floor between the benches. Other bundles followed, including Theo’s large pack, until the central area was packed and everything secured under a flexible metallic mesh tarp that connected to clamps in the floor. The bodyguard was not employed for this chore but a few locals, young men. When they were gone, the queen looked at the guard to Dani’s left. He was as expressionless as a stone as he pressed his hand to a glowing orange panel situated on the wall next to the opening. The door slid shut with a soft whoosh. “Here, let us get these out of the way.” The queen lifted and pushed back the hood that hid Ruby’s mass of auburn curls and gently removed the veil that concealed features warped from brow to chin, her flattened nose pointed to the left, a lopsided mouth and a chin that tilted to the right. The queen kissed the girl’s unnaturally flattened cheek with tenderness. Ruby closed her eyes and two large tears spilled out of each. She leaned her head on the queen’s shoulder. The Queen gathered the girl in her arms and held her close. “I wish …” Ruby began, but seemed unable to finish, the articulation of some desire beyond her capability. The other woman retrieved two pillows and two blankets from the overhead compartment. She handed one pillow to the queen, who placed it on her lap. Ruby stretched out on the bench with her head in the queen’s lap. She stared up at the Queen while the Queen smiled looking down upon her tenderly. “I was glad,” The girl paused struggling with her conscience it seemed. “That he did not tell. It was the part I most dreaded about the trial; learning what happened to me. Does that make me wicked?” “No, darling. I understand perfectly. The loss of memory is God’s blessing, so you can live your life in peace.” Ruby’s eyes shimmered with tears. “The worst is behind you now.” The queen patted her bound arm. The other woman covered Ruby with the blanket. “Sleep, sweetie. Keeper’s know you have earned it.” Then she said to the queen. “That was the most grueling trial I have ever attended.” “Sit beside me, Gillian,” the queen patted the bench on her left. Gillian sat. The Queen shook her head. “Look, the poor girl, she is asleep already.” “She is exhausted,” Gillian said. “Already rumors are spreading that you influenced the accused on account of Dani.” ”Then they do not know Theo.” The queen spoke with an edge in her voice and a spark of steel in her green eyes. "He is not a man who will bend easily to the influence of others.” Gillian appeared to take the queen’s opinion at face value “And there was your Dani in the circle, running for all she was worth to rescue her man. They knocked her down but she got up again and climbed the Tree like a native.” Gillian delivered these details in a soft dreamy voice, as if the queen had not been in attendance and witnessed them. The queen’s expression was pensive but her attention was riveted on the opposite wall. “Yes. My Dani was marvelous. I am as proud of her as I can be.” “Mommy,” Dani tried to lean forward but was as immovable as before. A stocky but trim man entered the cargo hold from the front end of the craft through a narrow door. He was clean shaven. Laugh lines radiated out from the corners of his brown eyes. He wore a tan jumpsuit that screamed, Insider. “Ready?” He said. Someone in the front of the craft started the engines, or whatever energy source it was that powered the machine. Dani felt a shudder under her feet and it quickly moved up her legs and into her body. She woke to Theo’s shuddering body. The fire had died down quite a bit. She touched his forehead. He was feverish. Fearing the worst, Dani looked at the wound under his left eye, but it was fine, in fact the redness and swelling had already gone down. Good, his body was fighting the infection and the healing pooke appeared to be working. At least he was not septic from that source. Unwilling to take anything for granted she decided to check the other wounds. Even the smallest scratch, if infected, could cause trouble. First she put more wood on the fire, searching through the logs for the largest, after piling several small ones underneath to get the blaze going. Some of the wood was so damp she doubted it would burn at all but she arranged several of the smaller of these near the fire. Perhaps the heat of the fire would dry them enough for use later. Keeping a large blaze going would consume the fuel very quickly as much of what was useful was dry and porous. How to maximize the heat of the smaller fire was crucial. She squeezed more water between Theo’s lips. After a slow methodical examination of his other wounds using her flashlight, especially the scratches on his arms neck and shoulders – untold millions of germs could thrive underneath the human fingernail – she satisfied herself that none of his wounds looked infected. That meant there was something internal going on. She could only hope that it was from the shock of his long ordeal and not the result of trauma to his vital organs. Shock, Dani thought, presented another set of worries. She was woefully inadequate to treat Theo for any injuries he might have sustained from blows, or falls or from being lifted onto the crucifixion tree: joint stress; fractures; internal bruising of the kidneys or the spleen. She had seen plenty of impact injuries as a participant in athletics: pulled hamstrings, snapped tendons, sprained, twisted and broken ankles. A broken right tibia had forced Dani to sit out the entire sophomore basketball season. But such mundane injuries did not compare to crucifixion, the toll it took on the human body: the agony of nails through the wrists and feet; the flayed back dragged upon the wooden beams; the lax bowels and bladder; exhaustion; heart failure; organ shutdown; and finally asphyxiation. (A trip to Israel with Great Grandma Allen and Grandma McHugh had included a walk along the Via Dolorosa that involved a detailed description of the indignities suffered by Christ during crucifixion, delivered by the reverent tour guide. Sixteen-year-old Dani had not welcomed hearing it, but such knowledge once learned is not easy to forget.) Dani was thankful that Theo’s experience, while torturous, had been nowhere near as barbaric as a Roman crucifixion. Still, he had suffered. “You are safe now, Theo.” Dani smoothed his hair away from his forehead. In his unguarded state, she saw his features without the affect of hardship, with tension and stress and emotions absent. Without the beard he looked younger than ever. His second skin maintained its liquid appearance, though it was tinged a very pale blue. The haversack was in easy reach, so Dani got the Psalter and began to read. She kept vigil this way. She was afraid of sleep, afraid she would slip into another weird dreamscape where the Orphan King dared rake his mental fingers through her memories. She was already forgetting details of the dream. Yet, she had to acknowledge that not once in the course of that long eavesdropping session had the King or Queen called Theo “That Criminal” or “Dreyden’s Disciple". They had persistently called him by name. Even Dani had to admit, in defiance of her bitter emotions, that it counted for something.

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Theresa Cavagnaro highlighted an excerpt from Leaving

Chapter 18 Dani wakened with a jolt from another prairie dress dream remembering the incident that had precipitated the loss of Maris and felt a keen desire to talk with Barb over steaming cups of coffee. In a cold sweat, the unexpressed scream shredded and remained unspoken. Her hand flew to the base of her throat where the strong beat of her heart thrummed beneath the center of the rosary with its faded image of Mary.The desire to contact Barb was so intense she put Mama’s journal down and rifled through her backpack looking for her phone – it had slid all the way to the bottom of the bag and was trapped inside the fold of one of her shirts. Miraculously, it still had juice. She sent a third message knowing full well there was no signal strong enough to pass the message back home but going through the motions made her miss Barb just a little bit less. “B- It’s me again; still lost in space and missing you. Wish you were here – Luv, D.”Late in their relationship but months before the WalMart breakup, Dani and Maris had fought bitterly about the subject of penetration. Dani was mystified that Maris brought it up; was not the point in being a lesbian to avoid penetrating sex? But Maris complained. She said they should try new things. “You can’t be a child forever Dani; it’s time to grow up.” A strange proposition from a girl just turned nineteen who still slept with a teddy bear.Maris came home one day late in February with a brown paper bag filled with sex toys, among them an artificial male body part that Maris suggested she wear and use on Dani. Dani refused so Maris said, “Okay, then you wear it.”“Like hell.” And Dani had gone away for a while and had come to her senses across town at the north end of Middlebury standing in the back alley behind The Bistro beside a dumpster. Her body shook, her arms felt heavy, her lips were numb and her throat felt raw. The offending artificial appendage with its shiny black vinyl harness dangled from her hand. Somehow she had managed to break it into three pieces all held together by torn, flesh toned vinyl. Dani flung it into the dumpster and looked around. Her car was not to be found. She hurried home with her shoulders hunched against a cold wind driven sleet. She had no coat and no shoes. By the time she made it back to their efficiency, she was soaked, chilled to the bone, and her sodden socks had holes worn in them.Maris, along with Dani’s car, was absent and their home -- all lights blazing -- was in shambles. The last time she had made a shambles of anything was a several weeks after Jordan’s death and a week prior to meeting Maris. Now here she was, back to old habits she had believed to be overcome by love. She showered first and then put on her fleece pajamas, a flannel shirt and thick pullover sweater and two pair of thick socks. She further warmed herself with a hot cup of coffee and proceeded to put everything back to rights, removing the broken desk chair to the empty spot beside their trash barrel at the back of the building. Sleet had given way to plump snowflakes coming down fast and heavy, so the ground was coated with a thin sheet of ice covered by an inch-thick white carpet. Dani fumed. Maris must have run to Alex looking for a more penetrating love experience. From their first day at Middlebury, Alex had made it plain she was interested in Maris and Maris had openly enjoyed the attention. “It’s flattering, Dani. Don’t be jealous.” Maris had cooed. “You will always be my number one.”Dani emptied the last pile of broken glass and ceramic into the trash when there was a knock at the door. She hurried to answer, anticipating Maris, but it was Barbara, Bobby and Bill.Dani hid her disappointment. “What are you doing here? Do you realize how late it is?”“We just stopped by to make sure you’re all right.” Bobby said.Dani sensed their desire to get into the apartment and see the damage. Instead of letting them in she forced her feet into her boots pulled on her hoodie and stepped onto the tiny porch.“Why wouldn’t I be?” She pulled the door shut. She picked up the lawn chair and knocked the frozen snow off it and sat down, “Anybody got a cigarette?”Bill handed her one and Bobby gave her a light.“Thanks.” She took a long pull of the cigarette, filled her lungs and held it in letting the beastly cloud bring its calming influence. She had taken up the habit of smoking in Middle school but had quickly given it up for sports and now only indulged when she was deeply stressed.Her unwanted visitors took up positions on the step; Bobby even dared to step up onto the porch. He swept snow away and sat on the railing, braced his feet, and lit up a cigarette of his own. They leaned forward waiting to hear all the juicy details.Dani drew in another stream of hot dry smoke and said nothing. “We heard you guys had a fight and so we came over, you know, to make sure you’re okay?” Barbara spoke from the foot of the steps. Each hand was on a post and one foot was on the bottom step. She rocked gently. The naked longing in Barb’s eyes told Dani the girl hoped to hook up. Dani was tempted. Three years of monogamy coupled with Maris’s changing appetite wakened desire for another in Dani she had not entertained in three years. Certain Maris was off consoling herself with Alex only made it easier to justify giving in to the temptation.Bill stepped up onto the porch and settled in next to Bobby blocking Barb form view.“Come on Dani tell us what happened?”“Where is she? Maris.” Dani asked.Nobody answered.It wasn’t bad enough that Maris had tried to impose male sex into their relationship, but she had run to their friends and told them about their argument. She had aired their dirty laundry in public. How many intimate details she had shared remained unknown but that Maris had shared any cut Dani to the quick. “So we had a fight.” Dani shrugged. She was adept at two things: minimizing and denial – the tried, true and trusted friends of dysfunctional families the world over.She shook her head. “You came all the way over here in this weather and for what -- because Maris said we had a little fight?”“She was very upset.” Bobby said, making a placating gesture. “I have never seen her so upset. You know Maris, she’s always in a good mood.”Dani laughed. “I could say the same thing about Bill. You live with him, is he always in a good mood?”“Heck no.” Bobby answered so quickly it made everyone laugh.Dani took one last drag on the cigarette and flicked it over the rail. It landed in the snow on the driveway and died with a soft hiss.She stood up and the boys, following her example, preceded her down the steps. She threw her arm around Barb’s neck and tugged her in close, so that their hips and thighs bumped as she walked her down the alley to the street. She pressed her lips to Barb’s cheek – a purely platonic girlfriend kiss – and murmured in the girl’s ear. “Listen, Barb, I’d invite you in, but it’s not the right time.”Barb blushed furiously. It would have been a treat to take Barb about bed but Dani settled for another peck on her cheek before she opened the back door of Bill’s Impala and handed Barb in. Disappointment glistened in Barb’s hazel eyes. Dani stepped back and closed the door. Then she caught the front door before Bobby could close it and leaned in.“Wipe that smirk off your face, Bill.” She spoke across Bobby’s cigarette breath. “Take Barb home, will you?”He gave her a thumbs up.“Will you do me a favor? When you see Maris, tell her to have my car back by morning; I have an early class.”Sitting amid the comfy cushions in Maddie’s tent, with the fur thrust aside and her sweaty skin dried by the chill night air that the low lying coals in the brassier could not chase away, Dani saw clearly how her relationship with Maris had taken a turn that night. The remaining sex toys disappeared and the subject was never broached again. Their lovemaking tapered off considerably with Maris spending longer hours with Alex, coming home smelling of sex and pot. Dani pretended not to notice to keep peace. She had not wanted to admit it was over. She loved Maris, had invested three years in their relationship and had – until Alex showed up – believed their love was forever. She could not understand how a love that meant the world to her could come to mean so little to her mate.Dani felt shaken and disoriented. Until this very moment she had completely forgotten that night. No wonder Maris’s leaving her had come as a shock, no wonder Maris had acted blasé about leaving as if it was to be expected, the only natural outcome for a dying love. Dani wondered had there ever been any mutual love between them? She wondered where was that cool, sophisticated woman who could divert the morbid curiosity of a couple of friends without breaking a sweat. Since coming to Haven she was a basket case and so far not one decision she had made regarding Mama or Theo made sense. The good thing that had come out of that bad night with Maris had been her friendship with Barb. She had come close to taking Barb to bed but it would have been a disaster, considering the trouble brewing between Dani and Maris and the fact that Barb was rebounding from a breakup with her childhood sweetheart. Barb would have come to regret it and she would have never been able to be just friends after the fact, not with her deeply ingrained Midwestern values. She missed Barb. Dani could stand to hear her voice and her plainspoken advice now.The letter! Dani sprang up out of bed. She had forgotten all about the letter she had picked up before leaving Aunt Angie’s house that morning long ago. Where was it? She ran to her pack and rummaged around until she found the jeans she had worn on her journey to Haven but the hip pocket where she had stuffed the letter was empty – had Theo confiscated Barb’s letter too? Briefly she looked in the direction of the Parlor where Theo’s packs were kept but before she went off like a bullet she calmed down and went through Mama’s bundle of letters and found the letter with the Texas postal stamp on it dated Oct. 25. She returned to her bed and tore the letter open.Dear Dani,I dreamed about you last night and woke up feeling a powerful urge to get in touch with you. All attempts to reach you have failed miserably but I can’t shake the feeling that you need me.I saw you in a cave wearing an old fashioned white dress reading a book by firelight. The air was full of what sounded like a thunderous waterfall. Beside you sat the most handsome man I have ever seen, dressed in leather with his hair tied back. I was so jealous of you Dani, in the company of that gorgeous male and you completely immune to his masculinity and those amazing kissable lips! There was no apparent threat, yet I felt your distress. I’ve tried all day to reach you by phone, text message and e-mail but nothing, and then on my way to lunch my phone beeped and there were three messages from you.I thought you went to France, but if your messages are to be believed you’re not even in this solar system!!!I don’t know what to make of it. I suppose I am to get a message off to you and send it in a letter – Snail Mail – to your home address, since no other method has worked. From here on out I’m acting on faith because none of this makes sense except in light of what you told me about your mother’s boyfriend. You know me: I’m a believer in miracles and I have a strong feeling you need one right now.Learn your Mama’s other life story. Maybe knowing it will help you understand her decision to abandon you. How you will do that I am not sure, but something – Someone – tells me you have all the resources you need at your fingertips.(In Barb language, "Someone" was a reference to God.) Forgive the people who let you down. I know the very thought is repulsive when you’re still hurting and the pain is raw. No excuses. You will not feel like it, but still you have to. Every day I forgive Joe – some mornings I only manage to remind myself I have to forgive him. You know how badly he hurt me. Know that I love you. I thank God for you every day. We have only been friends for a little while but already you are as dear to me as my own sister. If you really are where I think you are – a lot further than Paris – it’ll be a miracle if you get this letter. Be well.Love, Barb.A draft moved across her feet. Dani pushed her fur over her feet, lifted the other end and arranged it around her shoulders. The core of Barb’a letter had reiterated Maddie’s advice; but just hearing her voice again made Dani feel the distance between here and home.In the predawn hours Maddie returned. She leaned over Dani and peered into her puffy, swollen eyes and shook her head.“Move over.”Dani wordlessly obeyed and Maddie settled in beside her. Her hair was damp and loosely braided; her skin was cool and smelled of night wind.“Go to sleep now, Little Sister.”Within minutes Maddie was snoring softly. A few minutes later Dani succumbed to exhaustion and slept.In the morning, Isa, the Matriach, stepped into Maddie’s bedroom just as she was slipping out of bed leaving Dani curled up under the pile of furs sleeping soundly, or so they thought.“Mother! What do you want?” Maddie kept her voice pitched just above a whisper.“I came to see why my daughter would dally when there is a day’s work to be done, and the morning heating up with every breath.” She finished with a sigh in her voice, a luxury Dani suspected she would never dare indulge in front of anyone else.Maddie scooped up her clothes and boots and pushed her mother ahead of her out of the bed chamber before she answered. “I was with Brandyn this morning and only returned before dawn.” Dani peaked over the end of the fur seeing the cloudy shape of Maddie getting dressed and her mother seated on the edge of the divan. Maddie separated her thin undergarment out from the pile of garments and pulled it on over her head.“No mother.” Maddie must have seen an unspoken question in her mother’s expression. Her voice was muffled through the sheer layer of cloth of her undergarment. “We are going to try in late summer for a midwinter baby.”“The two of you make the loveliest babies.” This doting grandmotherly quip coming from the mouth of the cool and collected Matriarch, crucifier of men, stunned Dani. Maddie had children? Where did she keep them?“I think so too.”“I want you to keep the girl with you today; keep her busy and out of trouble.”Maddie hopped on one foot while she tugged on a sock. She let her foot fall.“Why?”"Stokley reported that she was at the prison tent early this morning.”“Really?” Maddie pulled on the other sock. “She argued with Stokley for an hour that it was her responsibility to see to the well-being of her friend and if he did not let her in to satisfy herself that her friend was in good hands he would live to regret it.”Maddie paused with her other foot raised, frozen in the act of pulling on her second sock.“She did?” Her voice was full of admiration lightly laced with outrage.“That one is full of spit and wind.” Isa remarked. “Not at all like her mother.”“No.” Maddie dropped her foot and stepped into her trousers and cinched the cord at her trim waist and secured it with the knot.“I have serious reservations about her loyalty to that criminal.”“It’s not her fault that she ended up in his company. What choice did she have but to trust him, he was the only human standing between her and the Wild. She was completely dependent on him for her survival so what else should we expect but that she feels in his debt? Besides, loyalty is an excellent quality.”Maddie pulled on her tunic and then pulled her tabard over that and began to wind her sash around her waist.“But the Stone, Maddie.” There was a strain of protest in Isa’s voice.“Well, you dared her.”“I do not believe the King would give her the Stone and neglect to instruct her in its mystical attributes. I could see her ignorance when I dared her, as you say, but she was determined to give the stone to that odious creature. She is stubborn, that one. Now what will the King have to say? Well it is his own fault for giving her a stone of power without the attending information.”A wind swept through the tent and moved the layers of fabric in such a way that Dani captured a glimpse of the Matriarch, where she sat on the edge of the divan her knees together and her hands clasped in her lap.Maddie sat beside her and pulled on a boot, tucking her trouser leg in. Then the fabric settled and once again Dani could only see their cloudy shapes.“And you are amused because?”“I like her Mother. I would not worry too much about the Stone. She can still take it back. It is early yet, too soon for a bond to have formed, yes? Besides, do you think the Keeper of the Stone would ever approve such a man? I believe Dani is having second thoughts about their friendship -- she won’t speak of him except to learn what she can about the charges against him. She changes the subject when I bring our conversation around to him. You cannot know how unusual that is, Mother; she defended him at camp with such passion.”Maddie lifted her booted foot to the divan and began wrapping the laces. “I think Little Sister is beginning to accept that he is not to be trusted. To tell you the truth I am surprised she went over there. Did Stokley let her have her look?”“No.”“Did she threaten to brain him with one of her rocks?”“Not that he mentioned, but obviously he was in one piece so she did not resort to violence.”“She has a mean throwing arm, Mother.”“So I have heard.”“Her pitch is dead on accurate. Georg will think twice next time he crosses paths with her. He has such a temper, but I swear, Dani-girl has got him beat by a long shot. When a rock leaves her fingers it takes off like a rocket. You saw Georg’s face?”“And Myanna’s cheek.” Isa said.“Can you imagine what an asset she would be if she learned to use a sling? It would give her range and increased wallop.”“We cannot allow that.” Was the Matriarch’s sharp warning. “She must submit to our authority first and learn discipline.”“That goes without saying,” Maddie dropped her leg and went to work on the second boot. “You need not worry about her getting into mischief; I have another full day planned for her, a wide variety of tasks and lessons to find out what she is good at -- other than mischief and violence.”

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