What at first appears to be the ramblings of a madman with a stack of blank pages turns out to be the memoirs of a time traveler. Hold on... Am I talking about Adam, the unreliable narrator of "I Think You Dropped This", or  Brien Shores, the brilliant author himself? All I can say for sure is that when you read Shores' mind-bender of an opening chapter, you'll find that escaping from the surreal vortex becomes quite the impossibility. Best if you just hunker down on a rock and stay away from the tides... I think...?

What at first appears to be the ramblings of a madman with a stack of blank pages turns out to be the memoirs of a time traveler. Hold on... Am I talking about Adam, the unreliable narrator of "I Think You Dropped This", or  Brien Shores, the brilliant author himself? All I can say for sure is that when you read Shores' mind-bender of an opening chapter, you'll find that escaping from the surreal vortex becomes quite the impossibility. Best if you just hunker down on a rock and stay away from the tides... I think...?

What works best about the excerpt is that you've created a narrator who is halfway between lucid and rambling. It's entertainingly dry, but you still have to pay attention to keep up with what's going on. It also starts in a curious position that opens the door to a lot of questions and starts the imagination.On the critical side:1. It might use with more scenic description to better explain where Adam is at the outset. 2. It might be asking too much of a first chapter, but it's still unclear what the character wants, if anything. What I like most about the writing style also makes it difficult to criticize in traditional terms. I kept wondering why these particular diversions were part of the narrative. Can they serve a purpose beyond just being funny/quirky? Are they building to something bigger than themselves?If so, that's fantastic. It's hard to know whether that's the case after only reading this short sample. If the author is already doing that, that's awesome. If not, it may be something to consider. All in all, really strong, fascinating work that has a ton of potential. 

What works best about the excerpt is that you've created a narrator who is halfway between lucid and rambling. It's entertainingly dry, but you still have to pay attention to keep up with what's going on. It also starts in a curious position that opens the door to a lot of questions and starts the imagination.On the critical side:1. It might use with more scenic description to better explain where Adam is at the outset. 2. It might be asking too much of a first chapter, but it's still unclear what the character wants, if anything. What I like most about the writing style also makes it difficult to criticize in traditional terms. I kept wondering why these particular diversions were part of the narrative. Can they serve a purpose beyond just being funny/quirky? Are they building to something bigger than themselves?If so, that's fantastic. It's hard to know whether that's the case after only reading this short sample. If the author is already doing that, that's awesome. If not, it may be something to consider. All in all, really strong, fascinating work that has a ton of potential.