Dearest Annabel,

My love, I must accept the fact that I will never lay eyes on you again. It is a hard truth but it is truth. I will never hold you again. Never taste the sweet nectar that is your kiss. Never walk hand in hand with you in our beautiful spring gardens. Never hold you close in moments of outrageous passion. This realization, more than anything else, has brought me to despair. I need you to know my intentions were pure. If you believe nothing else my dear heart, believe that. My entire life has been dedicated to this project. This impossible dream. I hoped to make a better world for you. A better world for everyone.

But I totally screwed the pooch on this one darling. Like it’s really, really bad. It didn’t work at all. I really thought opening that dimensional portal would be a good idea. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine freaking monsters would come out. So many monsters. Holy crap.

I can hear them gnawing through the blast doors now. Soon they’ll have me and my life will end in swift and undignified agony. I shall wait for you my dear. Across the river of death in the valley of eternity. I will wait until I can hold you again. If you’ll have me. I fear my wait will be a short one because Ted’s dumb ass left the teleporter turned on. For all I know these foul beasts have already stumbled into it and teleported home. In which case you may already be dead.

In which case… my bad.

Yours forever, Archie

Happy Tuesday, Space Crew! 

First, to start things off properly, I need to give a space-sized congratulations to my friend JF Dubeau, who’s successfully funded his second book, A God in the Shed. 750 orders with a few days to spare. Congratulations! 

Onto Cup news! I used to think we had a lot of time. Wasn’t it just yesterday I was saying there was a month to go? And now we only have half that. 

I know a lot of you are followers who haven’t picked up a copy. But time is running out, and the best way you can show support is to place your orders before the funding period ends. 

Those who have ordered, let me remind you what’s in store with your Recommendations. If you’re one of the top three Recruitment Officers you’ll be receiving this prize pack: 

So join me in shamelessly spamming this book everywhere. I want my social feeds so filled with this book that I miss out on more interesting things and complain for a moment before remembering how grateful I should be.  

 
Your Spam-Spamming Space Spamtain,
-AC

Readers,