Others choose each word meticulously, plucking them like individual strings to weave harmonies of sound together; and others never even know that they have chosen. Sometimes, the words choose themselves.
This is a little confusing as well. We know she is being chased, but "he" is a little vague. Maybe start with "the creature’ or something that doesn’t give it away but still keeps suspense and makes the connection. That way the following paragraph can have "he" throughout. ["...begging it underneath her breath to get moving before [the creature] has time to..."]
he has time to get down the stairs and spot her.He reaches the bottom of the steps as the doors close, and takes a second too long to decide which train to take. He turns his face straight toward her carriage but the dark hollows of his eyes look straight through her as they scan the tightly-packed people.
The way this is worded, it’s a little confusing to make the connection that the homeless girl is her. I think it’s because the "run run" is stopping the train of thought between the two paragraphs of description. Putting the "Run" part before "she curls her tongue" would work well and make the piece stronger, I think. It would help connect things and make the comparison a little stronger--then the suspense hits. (Great description!)
When one guardian falls, another must take their place. The newest recruit, Albion Nisbett, finds out that the job involves keeping a secret hidden just beneath the pavements of London. Magic is everywhere. You just have to listen closely.
