Most little girls want to be a princess when they grow up. I didn't. My interests back then consisted of mainly music and dance and not a whole lot more. Before I could form a nice little fantasy of growing up to be a pop star at around age 6 or 7, an older girl told me during play time that you could get paid to dance and take off your clothes. I was amazed! Here was something I loved to do and I could get paid for it! I went straight home to tell my mum of my future career choice. Needless to say she was not impressed. I don't remember what she said but I do still remember the sting of her hand as she back handed me up-side my head as I stood in front of her in our lounge room and announced to her " I wanna be a stripper when I'm older" That slap was to bring the first wave of curiosity as to peoples reactions to the sex industry. I couldn't figure out what was so wrong with wanting to be a stripper when I grew up. I understood it was considered a job that should be beneath me. I just didn't understand why.

Growing up from childhood into adolescence I developed a little later than my classmates and stayed a chubby sweet faced child for what seemed like forever. I always felt like the awkward friend that just wasn't skinny enough to be as cool as the rest of my friends. I was secretly devastated that I would never be a skinny supermodel type. It's rather sad because I knew I had a pretty face, my hair was very long and very blonde, almost white. My eyes are big and a deep dark blue that has always had a bit of mischief in their near-almond shape I would even go so far as to say that I was a bit full of myself despite my feelings about my weight. Throughout my teens it felt like all I did was put on weight. I was learning more about my body and was coming to the realisation that I was built to be a curvy woman. Looking back I wish I had someone to point out that all my friends I thought were so sexy were, in fact probably ranged from sizes 10 to 14. I myself was a size 12 to 14 growing up. So in reality I was no different than my friends. I had one idea of what I though "sexy" was but then developed crushes on girls who were built not much differently to myself.

The only thing I had, in my warped opinion, on my side of cool was the fact that I played guitar and sang well. I enjoyed getting on a stage and playing. It was the only time I got the feeling of being good at something naturally without even thinking about it. I was a bit amazed actually at the reactions I got from some people, who would tell me how brave I was to do that In front of people. I never got stage fright. Not ever. I knew I was good. I didn't fear I'd mess up. I'd get wickedly excited instead. I'd shake with it. When I was on stage I would feed off the audience. After a show I would feel invincible. That was a trait I would eventually take with me into the sex industry, and it would serve me well

Well to be honest I'm still amazed at my ability to be very stubborn. I remember years later when I was still at high school, I made friends with a woman, Sarah, who had been watching me play guitar for years by then, hired me to perform at her birthday and there I found out that she and another lady where in fact a strippers themselves. That day I got to ask all the questions I had no avenue to peruse previously: What was it like? What was the pay like? What were the men like? To be honest back then I didn't even know what questions to ask! I left that day with my old interest in becoming a stripper coming back to the four front of my mind.

At the time it didn't look likely that I would be able as I lived in the country and there would be no way for me to get to and from a strip club even IF I found a place to work. This all happened around the time I turned 18 and moved out of my family home. I was living with a family in another town and still trying to finish my VCE year 12. The family I lived with consisted of a father who was always asleep, my friend Justin, and his two brothers. Justin also had a sister who lived with his mother in another town. Not long after moving in with the family Justin introduced me to his sister, Jess. Who after talking discovered that we had mutual friends. My friend Sarah. When I asked how she knew her she replied that she knew her from work. And here I had found I had made a new friend in the industry I wanted to enter. I opened up to Jess, admitting that I had always wanted to do what she does. I just had no way of doing it as I didn't drive and was still currently attending high school. Her reaction was fantastic. She offered to let me come and work a shift one night with her so I could see if I liked it. So we made arrangements for me to head to her house after school the next Friday afternoon. I remember being so excited that week before. I totally over did it on the preparations. Justin drove me to a club x so I could look for a stripper outfit to wear on the Friday. I found two, a red and black bikini and a white and violet set that had clips for easy stripping. I got my hair died bright white and violet to match my outfit. And I was ready for my first night at my first paid job.