Hey Matt, the editor only meant the intro with the 'C' word. She liked the rest Day 1 etc. Unfortunately for me her new job is with a publisher that focuses strongly on children's books, so is unable to help me further.

Hey Bryn,

So I had a professional editor read my work and give their opinion, and I didn't pay for it.

The editor at the imprint my first 2 books were published (before it closed down of course) was willing to look at 'The bully book' and make some recommendations. They are as follows:

1. Cut out the intro. I came up with a shocking intro, simply to get everyone's attention, but I did wonder if it was too much. It went like this...

'Thirty years ago I became a cunt. Sorry for the bad language so early on, but it’s the most accurate way to describe what high school does to an innocent. Fuck, I never used to swear until beginning higher education. But don’t worry, I’m no longer a…. hmmm, let’s just call it a ‘C’. I’m no longer a C, at least I hope so, and I really don’t swear much at all these days, although it did take me a while – to stop the swearing and being a C. I guess that means this story has a happy ending.

Who would’ve guessed that in little old New Zealand being a C would become a good thing, well, as long there’s a ‘G’ in front of it. Being a ‘good cunt’ is a damned fine compliment in the land of the long white cloud. I was even brought to tears at my 40th when all the lads got together and called me the best GC around.

Enough about C’s and GC’s. I’ve a great story to tell, because I wrote it, and it’s very, very funny. It will sometimes make angry or sad, but you will reflect on what sort of person you were at high school, whether that be jock, nerd, or leader of the herd. You’ll also marvel at the miracle that I was able to put more than a few sentences together, let alone a book, after the ‘education’ I received. So please forgive me if I’m not grammatically perfect, or I flow from present to past – although the only person that worries about that  is the editor. Everyone loves my story.'

2. Keep it short and make it a series. She said that a book of around 40,000 words is a good size for teenagers and young adult. 

3. Do some market research. I work in schools, and have had great reviews from the students. But sadly, publishers don't care about great reviews from your target audience - oh dear, a bit of bitterness creeping in.

She finished by saying she cannot see any reason why a publisher or agent will not take me on, especially with a proven history.

100 rejections later, here I am.

Playing the game... 

I'm enjoying your story in these comments as much as I'm enjoying the snippets you've shared so far of The Bully Book. I hope you keep these biographical notes handy, as you could probably create a killer book on its own about your travails as a writer in the extremely frustrating world of publishing.

Background about me... and a little advice on how to get attention of an agent or publisher

dude seriously, you're good writer. don't those rejection take hold over you. it's their lost that they couldn't keep you because they can't see your talent and true potential. As long as your write from your heart and let those creative juices flow, you WILL put out great stories for all of us to enjoy.. I'm no best-seller as my sales would indicate lol, but that won't stop me from sucking everyone into my twisted stories. Don't second guess yourself, just let it flow and you will see that others will like your writing style. When you write and share it with others, you're naked and exposed but know that all us writers feel this way and we have to take the good and bad criticisms and improve so we can become a greater writer than before. This story will resonate with others and will do well if you give it a chance. Here, you are family and we will let you know anything if you ask. Sorry for being long winded but what can I say, I'm a writer lol 

I think what you're writing is terrific.  Please continue as I look forward to more.

Please check out 'Bob'

I find that this little snippet goes right along with the general humor of this story, plus it's what one would expect adolescent guys would act when they're together, talking and boasting.