Oct 23, 2015

 Extract from Chapter 14 of mystery-comedy novel, 'The Investigations of the Para-Usual':

The Minister of State at the Department of Energy, Climate Change and Green Stuff, Mohammed Cohen, surveyed London from the bulbous hill in Greenwich Park under the shadow of the Royal Observatory. The heat was up. London shimmered in full panoramic view.

‘Lovely day!’ Up the incline came the day-appreciator, Woo, picking his way with the aid of a wooden cane. ‘A traditional summer’s day – blue skies, sunshine, tinkling ice cream vans.’

‘I need a thinktank!’ said Cohen, cutting off at the first available opportunity the possibility of any small talk with the Head of the IPU.

‘A think tank, sir?’ wheezed Woo, breaking the modern buzzword in two. ‘A reservoir of thought, eh? I shall be gladdened to advise.’

‘Uh!’ spluttered Cohen, rolling his eyes. ‘I need the kind of scientific analysis the operatives bring.’

‘I could do science, sir – pfffffffffffffffffffflt!’ interjected Woo, indignantly. ‘That’s my ringtone, sir. Excuse me.’

Woo whipped out his mobile phone and made an act of listening intently to some pressing communication. Meantime, he could not help but betray with a slightly crestfallen expression that his flatulence alibi had deprived him of driving home his rebuttal.

‘Can’t you see I’m busy?’ he harrumphed down the phone and feigned terminating the call. ‘Excuse me. A sales call,’ explained Woo, lamely, pocketing his phone.