Nov 6, 2015

Extract from Chapter 26 of mystery-comedy novel, 'The Investigations of the Para-Usual':

‘Gentlemen, I extend an olive branch to you. An olive bough. An olive trunk even – there, some bulkier support structure of the olive tree. A bulkier support structure of the olive tree,’ repeated Woo, pleased with the sound of this reassurance. ‘We should seek to work together. To collaborate. We must. After all, what we are doing is working towards a common goal.’

‘Yes, well perhaps we should,’ agreed O’Singh, generously.

‘What the devil are you talking about?’ demanded Dr Pratt, less inclined to generosity.

‘I’ve decided to help you,’ said Woo to Dr Pratt, turning away from him very deliberately, before he had completed the pledge.

‘He’s not to be trusted,’ Dr Pratt warned O’Singh in a low growl.

‘Come, come, Dr Pratt,’ said Woo, wheeling back round to face his subordinate. ‘We simply got off on the wrong foot. If I wasn’t trying to help, why would I come now to offer you a sure-fire, dead-cert tip on how to impress the Government?’

Dr Pratt noticed O’Singh advance, drawn in by Woo’s extraordinary offer.

‘Don’t heed him!’ Dr Pratt hissed at O’Singh. ‘Look away, he’s trying to be nice!’

‘But I come in peace,’ cooed Woo, opening his hands as if to prove he was not concealing a weapon. ‘Do not please, Dr Pratt, I entreat you, offend me lightly, less so heavily. I have happened to find out something to your advantage, what would impress the Government greatly, and I am willing to share.’

‘If we cannot take it, please, let us at least hold the olive branch,’ urged O’Singh diplomatically, entreating Woo to continue. ‘Edge ourselves a little closer so we might perhaps brush past it?’ he said, extending the metaphor. ‘Or so we might perhaps sniff at the olive branch…?’

‘I have it on good authority, and pray do not ask me to divulge from whom, that the Government strongly urges you not to investigate what is good about air travel.’ Woo bit his lip regretfully as though he had said it now and there was nothing he could do to take it back.