Dec 1, 2015

Extract from Chapter 39 of mystery-comedy novel, 'The Investigations of the Para-Usual':  

‘Come, come this way,’ urged Persil. ‘It’s all good. I’m like family.’

Persil led O’Singh across cobblestones to a conservatory extension of a Victorian-era warehouse. What looked like a Post-it Pad sticker stuck to the glass door was the doorknob, labelled ‘Square Eye Studios’. Persil heaved the door open and led the way.

‘Persil! Persil Bland!’ called a woman, who was busying herself reorganising her desk in the conservatory reception area. Not so much a greeting it seemed, but a warning to others of Persil’s approach.

People gathered from behind a stage curtain draped across the entrance to the warehouse proper, all dressed in various designer T-shirts and fashionably distressed jeans. A faint chinking sound could be heard behind them.

‘Hi gang!’ Never seen an ex-hostage before? Expecting me back in instalments?’ japed Persil, slipping a hand into a padded envelope lying on the reception desk to mime the posting of her parcelled hand.

A thirty-something man with sculpted beard and immaculately coiffured hair framing a lived-in face, was the last to emerge from behind the curtains.

‘Persil Bland?’ he enquired.

‘Baby?’ asked Persil.

‘Mike Baby – Producer-Director,’ he said holding out a hand for shaking.

‘Mike Baby! Love it! A big grown-up baby. Maa!’ bawled Persil, in a baritone, emulating the probable cry of an adult baby. ‘Baby, meet Professor Breville O’Singh.’

‘Ain’t Breville them devices for making toasted sandwiches?’ asked Mike Baby, in his very middle-class accent.

‘My father was very fond of a toasted sandwich,’ replied O’Singh, warmly, unaware of the possibility that Baby could be poking fun.