If you would appreciate honest feedback, I’m happy to oblige. I liked the intro to the story. It hooked me, made me think of early Carl Hiaasen. Things got a bit confusing after that, but you have an authentic voice and it comes through. 

Two things crucial to the evolution of my writing development were forming a writers group and working with an editor. 

I think you’ve got a gem here and with a bit of polish, it could really sparkle.