Inkshares editors have indicated a need to be more consistent with descriptive language throughout my story. I wrote this today and it makes me feel good so I wanted to share it with a little bit of chest pounding because whether it’s good or bad isn’t as important as that feeling that reminds me of why I enjoy writing. This paragraph occurs in a chapter after the inciting incident in MINE but before the 1st act turn. Plot points are important.
“Is it something I said?” He looks at me with implacable eyes and I feel judgment. Resentment. Not by him. Some other little fiend judges me this day. I shrink into myself while the light spool draws tighter toward gray grayer grayest with rain and more rain draining the world to a dark nothing the way mixing too many colors becomes an oozing brackish mud absorbing everything. Like Mount Vesuvius erupting its smothering volcanic ash leaving a hollow where once, for a mere moment, we occupied a space. Or maybe it’s seasonal affective disorder. “The court order hasn’t been lifted, has it?”
Here’s a link to follow MINE. I always try to follow back. https://www.inkshares.com/books/murder-happens