Just finished this and the next paragraph and came back here to make the comment: I think you should save the details about Harold until later. This takes me out of the present moment rather abruptly, and it doesn’t help to move the plot forward or even really characterize Harold on a deep level (only his looks and background). It DOES accomplish a little worldbuilding, which is good for ch.1, but I know that it will do that anywhere else just as well.
Outside Harold the 34-year-old former U.S. Marine was dismantling the IRIS robot body that was dumped in the dirt by the conveyer belt.
Oh man, this has me in stitches! The irony. Can you play up the irony here? Like, he wanted me more visually appealing, says the lady with no frikkin skin left! Hahaha! This is good stuff, man!
he had me changed to be more visually appealing to him.”
Oh shit that’s awesome! GREAT DESCRIPTION!!!
Naturally, I’m wondering what ’she’ thinks of all this? Aaaah, SHOW ME what her eyes look like as her skin’s being sloughed away by machines!
The arms retracted and two new arms extended with claws on the ends. They grab the skin at the cut and peeled is slowly off the woman with hundreds of small forceful tugs. A small layer of fat that covered her body under her skin came along. The skin was placed in a plastic bag that was vacuum-sealed after the organ was inside. The bot was then hosed down and heat dried with flashes of red flame.
You described her disrobing above really well - like there was no emotion or feeling in it at all, which is perfect for making the robots ’come to life’ in the story (for lack of a better phrase, ironically). Anyway, I see some room for worldbuilding here (and up there too) - Are these robots like mannequins, where we can see the seams at their joints. Are they entirely unsexy? Or are we talking about soft skin, perfect symmetry, attractive features, etc.? Maybe my mind’s in the gutter a bit (when is it NOT, amirite?), but as a reader I need to know how I feel about this naked thing that’s supposed to pass for human. How WELL do the robots in your world resemble humans?
The female bot stood naked and motionless
Wait, woah, hold on... I might be severely misreading... Above it said Kyle went to the hideout while Roland entered the recapture building. I thought they were in separate places! (Which is what made me think the conversation was a flashback - also it started with ’when his father first purchased’ - which set it back to the past.) And now they’re back together... Anyway, I’ll read on from here, but I think the movements through space and time need a little clarification.