Joseph Asphahani commented on an excerpt of I Am Waltz
Throughout this chapter, I kinda sorta got the impression that Kyle and his dad lived in poverty. ...Only now that I got this far I realized, I have no idea why! When one thinks of the profession of ’repair man,’ it’s kind of an image that’s ingrained... Right? Maybe I’m the only one. Anyway... If the rules of your world are different (and that would be kind of cool to think that repairmen who service these bots are RICH enough to afford a PD10), then I’d ask that their financial situation is more clearly defined near the start of the chapter. 
Edit - Oh, also, I realized another reason I got this image... There were piles of synthetic body parts and heads all around their property, etc. Which gave the visual of a ’junkyard.’
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    Joseph Asphahani highlighted an excerpt from I Am Waltz
    The PD10 was the most advanced video game system ever released.
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    Joseph Asphahani liked an update for Borehole Bazaar: A Vow Unbroken

    So a friend just sent me this message.  I assume this is partly why a good large number of us do what we do, so I figured I’d share.  Sorry if it’s spammy.

    "You have inspired [my life partner of 3 years] so much with his writing. He is also a fantasy writer. Right now he has been writing like double his average amount while drinking coffee out of his dreams are worth chasing cup.  I just thought you should know. It fills me with happy."


    The Dreams Are Worth Chasing cup is something I’m offering as an extra incentive to folks who let me know they want one.  It just has the spiral from Borehole Bazaar cover art on one side and the words Dreams Are Worth Chasing on the other side.  Comes in glass and painted ceramic.  The painted ceramic is microwave, food and dishwasher safe, except I wrapped the handle in leather, so that might unravel at some point.  If you want one, two pre-orders of any level is the cost, that and you have to let me know your address and that you’re interested in the swag.

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      Joseph Asphahani liked an update for The Bully Book

      I finally got the bestest review in the world. I’ve never received such praise before, it was truly inspiring and has motivated me to continue writing.

      Unfortunately my mum is not so good at  computers, so she was unable to send it to me electronically.

      Bryn

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        Joseph Asphahani commented on an excerpt of I Am Waltz
        Is it? Is it though? ...I feel like there’s a fantastic spot here to get me more situated with Kyle’s viewpoint. Is the smile genuine? Half-hearted? Is he being sarcastic? Also, this helps me understand Harold better to - by seeing how Kyle treats him. Is Harold just ’the help’? Is Kyle creeped out by this weird war veteran? There’s a lot of subtle details that can get packed in here. It’s a perfect spot. Say a lot with just a little.
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          Joseph Asphahani highlighted an excerpt from I Am Waltz
          Kyle looked up at Harold and smiled, “thanks H, this is really great.”
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          Joseph Asphahani commented on an excerpt of I Am Waltz
          Oh! My whole sense of time is out of whack! Not like Kyle’s, I mean. I think this chapter could really benefit from some scene breaks. We’re in the chamber with Roland, etc. then do one of those ***** thingies (yes, I know, my highly technical publishing lingo here), and then zoom us in on Kyle. I’m getting a little disoriented without those clear signals that time/place has changed.
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            Joseph Asphahani highlighted an excerpt from I Am Waltz
            I’ve been in here fiddling with my K9 skeleton for six and a half hours!”
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            Joseph Asphahani commented on an excerpt of I Am Waltz
            Just finished this and the next paragraph and came back here to make the comment: I think you should save the details about Harold until later. This takes me out of the present moment rather abruptly, and it doesn’t help to move the plot forward or even really characterize Harold on a deep level (only his looks and background). It DOES accomplish a little worldbuilding, which is good for ch.1, but I know that it will do that anywhere else just as well.
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