Every time my phone gives me an audio notification, it takes me off guard and I freak the hell out, inside my brain. There’s got to be a way around that one. You know what? Don’t worry about it. I’ll think of something.

Sooo, it looks like I’m going to be rearranging some stuff in the narrative. See, originally I wanted to put the beginning in the middle and the middle in the beginning, and then naturally have the end be at the end and nowhere else. But, after some thought, I really think the beginning should be in the beginning, y’know? Yeah, I think that’s the ticket. It’s not a huge deal, but I wish I would have had it that way originally. I know you know exactly what I mean.

I’m sure that last paragraph was great reading for everybody. Unfortunately, I don’t know how my backspace key works. It’s genetic. My mom has the same problem.

I should have the initial edit and formatting done in a couple weeks. After that I’m going to give some potential reviewers a gander at it in exchange for an honest review and rating here come Publish Day. If anybody’s interested in getting their hands on an advanced reading copy, free of charge, and would be so nice as to rate and review the book when it comes out, we might be able to help each other out. Feel free to send me an email with your contact information if you’re interested (author@derekkohlhagen.com), and we’ll see what happens. No promises, just sending a line out.

Still working on the phone thing. If only there was a way to reduce the noise and, say, have it vibrate or something, instead. I’m going to invent that and get paaaaaaid.

Back to work.

As it turns out, my previous cover wouldn’t make the grade, print-wise, so I had to go and change that baby. I grew photo editing muscles like the Hulk, found a new image I liked, and slapped some Derek on it to fit my diabolical needs. I think it turned out okay...really poppy...orange, black, and white. It still has the spooky birds, which I need, and also a barren tree, which is appropriate, all against a blazing fire of a sky.

I really like it. I like it so much that I think I deserve a treat of some sort, like a cheese single and a slice of bologna rolled up together. Yeah. I think that will do just fine.

Hope you guys like it too! Smiley face.

  Took a few days off to educate myself on the “after-edit” stuff...publishing options and book covers and what-not. Found that, much to my chagrin, the image I chose for the cover is all handy-dandy for ebooks, but lacks the pixels per inch for a decent printed copy. Evidently, if I try to use it for the physical book, the cover will look like roadkill floating in tomato soup.

Not that there’s anything WRONG with that. Not judging roadkill appreciators. There could be a real lucrative roadkill performance art market that I could tap into. Note to self. Writing down for later investigation.

SOOO, it appears that the cover image will be changing. I’d still like to go with the “spooky crow/bird spooking you out in front of a spooky scary sunset” kind of thing, but of course that will depend on what I can dig up in the creative commons, royalty free, no-pay-for-cool-images places I frequented yesterday. I’m cheap. No...fiscally creative! There’s a bunch of great pics on those sites...just gotta figure out what I can format to the appropriate size...6 by 9 inches, specifically...and have it still look eye-poppingly stupentacular. All of those are words, now.

I’m tired, this morning. I got an average amount of sleep, but I’m still tired. Must be a sleep exerciser.

I learned some more about stuff I have to do AROUND the core of the editing stuff I’m already doing. Trying to appear like I have my shit together enough to hit a publish date that I have to figure out. I’m still pretty back-patting that I got the manuscript done in the month I was aiming for...but yeah, if you’re self-publishing, know that there’s a mountain behind the already-impressive-molehill. But, I hear there’s a party at the summit, so on we go.

Back...to....

(snore)

Wha...huh...leave me alone, monster-that’s-shaped-like-my-fledgling-career-as-an-author!!!

Oh man...it was just a dream.  Or...was it???

​Back to work.  

  Now that I’m getting down to it, I’m finding that I know just about jack squat about actually getting this thing published. Donning my super research cape, I’ve been spending a lot of time dumping things in my brain. My brain complains, but then again my brain doesn’t know what is good for it. I do.

So now, it’s time to slap (read: gently and deliberately place) together a marketing plan, one part of which being this handy-dandy blog that I need to update on a more frequent basis. Blogs are great...they connect with “the folks” (that being you guys), and give the writer (arguably, that’s me) a platform to regularly spew their shit, tasteless, useless, or otherwise. It’s good practice...keeps the craft beefy and slathered with A1 sauce.

Mmmmm. Steak.

So I dipped my head into all the stuff I have to do to get the book ready to officially publish, business-wise, and immediately I yanked it out, ran away wiping it from my eyes, and ran into the nearest wall. It’s...intimidating. There are, as it turns out, many facets to producing a book outside of actually writing the damn thing. Who knew? Everybody but me, I’m sure.

Step one is to self-promote! Yes, if you want to sell a book, you gots to connect with the peeps. I’ll be adding an option to the site to jump on an emailing list (that was supposed to sound modern and tech-awesome, but came out kind of...um...poopy) so I can send out a regular newsletter of my progress, and of course keep me in whatever valuable corner of brain real estate you’d rather I not occupy.

You’ll want me out...oh, you’ll want me out, but I’m a brain fungus, baby. I get in there and I grow. I’m sorry...that was gross.

I also was terrified of releasing the book to the general public without first having some preliminary eyes on it. Thankfully, there’s a way to do that, too. I get to badger some unfortunate people into reading the book before it’s an actual book! Ha ha...take that, people. I just hope my fragile ego can take the feedback. I may look real tough (not to mention handsome) on the outside, but inside I’m all glass and balsa wood. And protein!

So, yeah, the PR push is going to be starting soon. To this point, I really haven’t even shared the site with anybody. I guess I’ll have to do that, huh?

Argh!! So scary!! I’m going to have to craft a comforting hand puppet that I can turn to in times of doubt, and abuse when I need the release.

I think I’ll call him...Punchy.

Back to work.