I must say, I really liked the first chapter of The Sorcery Superstore. I personally found it refreshing to read a teenage point of view that wasn’t angst-ridden - your heroine seemed peppy and optimistic in the Kimmy Schmidt mould, which is fun to read. The dream sequence was a delight as well - trippy, weird and great fun.

Don’t be too down on yourself - I know writers tend to be their own harshest critics, but there’s definite promise in this book! I for one would be very interested to read more.

Just saw that comment two down- Don’t worry! We ask our loved ones for their support, but they don’t always pull through in the way we hope they will. I know this for sure! But it doesn’t mean they don’t love us and support us. Trying to put ourselves out there is something that, really, they can’t understand. So we can all support each other! It’s hard to get the snowball rolling, and we don’t always manage it. But don’t give up!

I thought it might be, but I wasn’t sure. On the one hand, I do think three years is a little quick especially given that the magical community is still a little wary of humans. But on the other hand, Vanessa lives in a big city. Chances are these guys were always there and just hidden. And maybe some of them don’t feel like taking extra measures to hide themselves? (Devil-may-care city attitude?). I’m not sure how to fix it. What would you suggest?

You’re great at writing ending lines. But I wanted to point out, too, that you’ve introduced no less than five characters, and it’s hard to tell which character is the main character of the story. 

Like his name. LOL It’s great... but... you’ve switched perspectives again. What happened to Ange and Rhia?