Reader, Writer, fiction and poetry
Cofounder of Inkshares; producer of code and books. Questions about Inkshares? Email me: thad@inksh...
This is a nice, tight closing paragraph.
The man drew out a business card and stuffed it into John’s palm. “Give me a call if you remember anything-” he talked in a raggedy cockney accent, and never mentioned his name “-just a mad geezer, hey mate?!” the man’s smile seemed broad and inappropriate. He disengaged and headed rapidly towards the escalator leading to the top floor of the station, signaling his friend as they were both making their way away from the scene of the incident. Met and transport police officers were already congregating near the platforms. “Yes…” John murmured, but the guy was long gone.
You need a "than" between "rather" and "to". Also, if you delete "the pursuers", you will avoid the unintended sense this otherwise conveys (i.e. as if they were meant to impress the pursuers rather than to protect them).
meant to impress rather to protect the pursuers.
