I won.

When you read that, how do you hear it? If it’s something in your mind like a soft, shocked whisper, the kind of sound you hear when someone speaks in the stillness of a slow snowfall, then you’re pretty close to how I’m hearing myself say it. I won. I won… I won? ...I WON!?! 

Whether it’s the Sword and Laser’s Tom and Veronica, journalist Alicia Smock, or other authors mentioning my name in their own reader updates or raffle videos, the experience of being exposed and showered with praise for my story has really validated all this hard work I’ve done.

And, …. wow… this campaign has been some hard work.

Somewhere in an article or something I said to somebody that I was back on what I call “The Skyrim Sleeping Schedule.” (I’m sure some former students of mine will recall EXACTLY how loopy I got soon after 11/11/11.) Basically 4 to 5 hours of fitful sleep every night for the past month has really racked my body. Even as I type this, my mind’s eye glances over its shoulder and sees my body tapping its watch, shaking its head. I hear it say “Joe, it’s time, man.” And I’m like, “Hey, wait! I got a raffle video to do! Six new winners, six more $20 giftcard giveaways, six titles gone from my priceless video game collection!” But in this vision, my body wraps its arm warmly around me and escorts me from the premises of health, and it says, “Maybe this weekend, pal.” So I’m about to give in and just get sick…

I am utterly exhausted. ...and I’m kind of numb. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m typing this all right now secretly from my work cubicle, clicking back to the work window whene….. …. …. …. ver someone walks by. But right at this moment, I can’t celebrate. I’m happy. I’m BEYOND EUPHORIA, in fact, but I can’t jump for joy just yet.

I haven’t yet mastered the art of embedding gifs or whatever the cool kids are doing these days - so this little graphic here will have to do to express my current state of existence:

(!!!!)

(What? I’m a man of letters, I tell ya!)

“Thank you all so much.” I know that track’s been on repeat for quite some time, but there’s no other phrase that can contain all of my feelings and gratitude toward your support. Thank you.