Very good work so far. My only critique is that you need to stay focussed on the tense, present or past. It is interesting and refreshing to read a manuscript set in present tense so try not to slip into past tense unnecessarily.
But everything seemed to be as I had left it. I felt my body slacken with the release of the tension I hadn’t realised had still been there, and suddenly realised how hungry I still was. I hadn’t had anything to eat or drink in two days. Not the longest I’ve gone without food, but doing some sprints and climbing really managed to empty an already empty stomach. I walked back as I’d come, up the thickly carpeted stairs, lifting my legs high over the fishing line at the top of the stairs and entered my grand master bedroom. It was a large, lofty room with thick Persian carpets laid over the wooden floors. The king size bed stood to the left of the room, a bay window directly across from me where they had placed a desk to make a small makeshift office, and to the right the walk-trough closet that led to the bathroom.
Young Zach embarks on what may be the journey of a lifetime, a journey of pen on paper. A tale of what the human mind can do if it it is given free reign.
Young Zach embarks on what may be the journey of a lifetime, a journey of pen on paper. A tale of what the human mind can do if it it is given free reign.
