I like the timing of this and the capricious nature of the weather :)
Just then the awning let down a deluge of water upon his head. He cursed and jumped out of the way, leaping from one puddle to another
I like this link back to the prologue.
He promised himself he would never trust the weather forecaster again.
The fabric clung to his contours in all the wrong ways,
I think this is meant to be "any more" in this particular context.
Cold rain pounds upon the desolate city streets, sweeping away the refuse that has piled in the alleys and gutters. It drenches those careless enough to be caught in its path, leaving a chill in their bones and driving them to the shelter of their insignificant homes. The whole city cowers beneath the sudden unexpected deluge; the poor and rich alike hiding like rats in their holes
This a fantastic opening - it creates a wonderful atmosphere.
Cold rain pounds upon the desolate city streets, sweeping away the refuse that has piled in the alleys and gutters. It drenches those careless enough to be caught in its path, leaving a chill in their bones and driving them to the shelter of their insignificant homes. The whole city cowers beneath the sudden unexpected deluge; the poor and rich alike hiding like rats in their holes
