I really enjoyed reading this! You definitely handle these characters as though they are very real to you, and that makes the action/banter believable - that’s important. I suppose if I were to suggest any major revision to this draft, it would only be that your audience might expect to see a bit more conflict/high stakes early on in the story. So far, we don’t really know what is happening to this main character outside of his ordinary daily routine. You might choose to develop the story more slowly in this way, but a few hints earlier on about where the narrative might take us would be good. But I did enjoy the read and actually think that the concept could be pretty cool, thank you for sharing!

Try to keep your characters behaviour in line with their internal monologue. If he sees taking care of Sean the same as taking care of little kids, then he shouldn’t get so violent or angry...that would make him a very poor parent!

Is this short version of apartment really a thing?

Haha, I love this...it is so true of drunks. This analogy appeals to the parent in me.