I've just noticed your string of editing and I'm kind split on it. On one hand, your comments are very pertinent and those are some good catches and definitely things that need to be corrected in the final version. I'm flattered that you apparently enjoy the material enough to go over it with a fine toothed comb like that.
On the other hand, this is just a draft so far and after I rewrite it the manuscript will go through the hands of at least two editorial rounds (developmental edits and copy edits). Having already worked with the editors at Girl Friday Productions (the people who work with Inkshares on production) and they are top notch.
So here's the dilemma; I like seeing your edits, but at the same time I feel bad knowing that you're putting in work that will likely be thrown out.
If you still want to go through the material and give feedback though, I'd love to see if there are more story-based issues that need fixing. Continuity errors, repetitions, bad phrasing. Assuming that's as much your thing.
In a space-faring future, an alien war criminal seeks vengeance on humanity, and a celebrated-but-bumbling hero is forced back into action... whether he likes it or not.
