Are they telepathic? I like the idea that they’ve been working and fighting together so long they can communicate through meaningful glances and waggling their eyebrows (if Golroc has any, lol) but the wording could be refined, I think? "The two glanced at each other - after years of fighting together they were able to communicate their thoughts with just a few meaningful looks." Not exactly that, but along those lines? Just a thought.
The two glanced at each other, silently communicating their thoughts after years of fighting together.
You use this phrase twice in two sentences, varying the description will help it flow better.
Perhaps a bit more showing, and a little less telling? Your dialogue below sets up how Golroc is more focused on scanning for trouble. If you add a little more back and forth about the sunset and how Golroc doesn’t find it interesting, you can have the characters tell the readers what they’re like, rather than having this bit of exposition.
Varren smiled fully expecting the gruff response from his companion after traveling together for years. Golroc had a different concept of beauty and never did find the same love for the sights of the road as his companion. Instead Golroc was more focused on scanning the area for any signs of trouble.
A strong wind blew through the jagged rocks of the Yarshar Mountains. Even in the peak of summer, the wind was still bitterly cold this far north. As the setting sun faded behind the peaks the soft orange glow of evening began to fade, the warmth that it had provided slipping away for the coming night.
Maybe insert "he was more than merely a swordsman," or "he was more than a mere swordsman," something like that. Really set him apart from those who are only good with a sword and little else.
This time Cyael was ready, as a Qivar he was more than a swordsman, he was master of both blade and spell.
I like to use italics when writing a character’s thoughts, not quotations. I’ve seen them done with no quotes or formatting changes as well. I think using quotation marks on an internal thought can lead to some confusion as to if a person is talking out loud, or not.
