Kieran stood gazing at his sister for several silent minutes. As he watched another petal shivered and fell from the bud to land beside its brethren. An answering ripple of pain echoed through Kieran as the petal landed on the cold marble.
This line seems awkward to me. Would he really be just like... eh, whatevs about my freaky hand? Even if he was trying ot focus on the rose? I would cut it out. It takes me out of the passage.
Another oddity to file away for later examination along with the sensory issues.
You are masterfully manipulating my feels right now.
Kieran stood gazing at his sister for several silent minutes. As he watched another petal shivered and fell from the bud to land beside its brethren. An answering ripple of pain echoed through Kieran as the petal landed on the cold marble.
“They have been...changed.”
“They have been...changed.”
That is artfully sadistic