Jacob Larch sent an update for Legacy: Overture

All, thank you for the support. Things have been progressing well. First set of invitations to get interest in the book are out, and the progress begins here. I'm looking forward to updating you all as the ninety days goes on, and don't forget- the original series can be bought from Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk for digital download as e-books, all for under $2 / £1.50 each!

Take care, whatever you get up to!

Jacob
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    A strong, direct narrative in short, breathless sentences evoking the emotions of the protagonist in his quest to free himself from a brutal Master. Looking forward to reading more!
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    Jacob Larch commented on an excerpt of After the Greenlands
    Dialogue is a little heavy: he sounds like (maybe he is) an unintelligent bad guy who speaks in simple terms. If Gunner hates him so much, and this is the first meeting we have with The Master, we should be seeing (reading?) our introduction to his character in more pronounced, definite terms- if you want us to hate him, we just have his reaction at present, and in a style of dialogue that's a little "on the nose?"

    EG: we know Gunner has failed, we know he was stupid, and we know he came in there to kill The Master but failed. All of this is repeated verbatim in The Master's dialogue. 

    Suggestion: (please feel free to throw this advice aside)- The Master closed the door and gazed with dispassionate eyes, cruel in mockery. "Is that it?" Gunner followed him with fearful eyes as The Master gazed about the room and finally, as if he had all the time in the world, selected a wooden rod from the closet. "I'm going to enjoy this..."

    Less can be more sometimes, and actions speak louder than words. By gazing with...mockery we see The Master disregards Gunner as a threat. Gazing about the room / selecting suggests the Master takes his time, as if he doubts Gunner could provide any resistance of consequence, and equally dismisses that resistance if he could. It creates the image of a cruel, calculating monster who has already dismissed Gunner and tells us a lot more about their relationship.

    But it's just a suggestion! :)
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    People who have liked this comment on a chapter of <i>After the Greenlands</i>

      Jacob Larch highlighted an excerpt from After the Greenlands
      The Master closed the door. “Ha, foolish boy!” he laughed sinisterly, “You sneak in here to kill me, but now look at you. Helpless and pathetic.” He grabbed a wooden rod from his closet and readied his arm, “I’m going to enjoy this,
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