Cut the as from the beginning of the sentence. You haven’t said anything else that happens while he moves through the field.
As he moved and charged through the field ducking and cutting, running for the Deathwatcher and when he went deeper into the field he could see the Kreeper crowding around him.
This time cut the as at the beginning, it makes no sense as he’s just doing that. You haven’t said anything else that is happening while he goes through the field.
As he moved and charged through the field ducking and cutting, running for the Deathwatcher and when he went deeper into the field he could see the Kreeper crowding around him.
Ne`kell’s armor was tinted a whitest green from the blood of the Kreeper,
It would sound better if instead of and watch it was , watching.
its neck and lifted up, and watched as its green blood splashed out in what seemed like gallons.
I think there are better descriptions than the vague brought its claws to his back. perhaps "slashed at his back" would be better?
He ducked as another Kreeper brought its claws to his back and stabbed through the Kreeper in front of him,
