Lover of science-fiction and fantasy. Aspiring writer hoping to realize his dreams.
Throughout this whole chapter you should try to use the word and less. It just makes scenes feel a little sluggish if its overused. I wouldn’t use it anymore than once per sentence unless it’s indicating two thing like "Allen and Scarlet went downstairs where they were confronted by Santa Claus and his army of robotic elves."
neck and thrust his other arm down with claws extended and sliced up through the back of the head reaching its jaw and sliced upwards severing the head into three-parts
Two uses of grip is redundant. Using held, grab or grasp would help.
gripping underneath the things armpit and gripped
Sweep through or at. Unless he’s swinging its own neck to kill it.
then ended its life with a sweep of its neck
First before his eyes should only be used if something is being revealed to him or is shocking. For instance "Before his eyes his own daughter bled out upon the cold wood floor). Second of all why is the kreeper trying to punch him? Its something but it doesn’t really make sense.
Before his eyes a Kreeper stood before him and tried smashing him with its fist instead of its claws
Cut the as from the beginning of the sentence. You haven’t said anything else that happens while he moves through the field.
