I made a new map this week. These are the Islands of Ma'i.
The two big ones in the middle are the Islands of the Gods. The four slightly smaller islands around the two central ones are the Islands of the Titans and all the other islands are the Islands of Spirits. They're home to a people similar to ancient polynesians as well as a strange group of animals that seem to have a strange effect on local weather.
A long time ago, there were the Keima'i people. One day, they were visited by a messenger from the gods. He said "Some bad stuff is about to go down here. You guys should split while you can." but most of the people were like "Get outta town, you knucklehead!" Not long after, the islands were not so much invaded and occupied, but there was already a war happening among the Immortals and it spread to the Islands of Ma'i. No one who stayed survived (or did they?). The Immortals took the islands and the Keima'i who survived sailed the sea for a long time before finally discovering land on the southern coasts of Yhur. There they were met by a new set of immortals bedecked in gold, astride giant animals. These strange beings agreed to let the Keima'i people live in there sweet-ass jungle kingdom provided they paid their rent: human blood. It wasn't the best set up, but the alternative was to go back to the emptiness of the vast ocean. So the Keima'i people stayed. Don't forget to pre-order your copy of Tale of Boulderoth today! We've got just over two months left! "The time has come." the walrus said. "Goo goo g'joob."
Love and thanks as always.
Earth, sea, empire.
I forgot the map! Here's the map!
I "invented" a new animal this week! It's basically just a bighorn sheep, only it's HUGE and these guys ride them into battle and use them for EVERYTHING and they're really central to their culture. Their whole civilization pretty much revolves around these things. They can ride the males into battle and make sweet bows out of their giant horns (which can weigh up to 100 lbs.) and the females provide crazy weird amounts of wool (they're huge) and meat and milk and stuff. They make junk outta the bones. They're like buffalo. It's great. It's one of those weird little things that's about to help me POWER through some o' dis history. Once the herds migrate south into the former Tarkin lands, now the Kingdom of the Old Crag, the Harres follow them and the new King is like "Oh no you don't!" He thinks they're attacking, but they're just doing what they've been doing for hundreds of years. But he doesn't know that, so he orders his dudes to build some castles and then eventually they call on Madman Titus Tavro to go ask them to stop and he and his "Mad Men" wind up doing a whole bunch o' murder and that starts a war, and the war is the war and after the war there's power shifts and regime changes and the Kingdom grows and turns into an empire and burns down and then it's Book time! I'm so excited!
You guys are the best!
Earth, Sea, Empire
Quick update. There seems to be a theme running through my book and the histories of unlikely heroes killing giant scary animals. I happens with this scrawny little prince and Raxas the Lion who lives in the Sacred Grove of Santana and then a couple thousand years later it happens with a little girl who kills a GIANT shark all by her skinny little like eight year old self. Hm! More on that as I get further into the stuff.
It's been a month!? How has it been a month since my last update. Whatever. Hello, Boulderoleros! Do you ever feel insignificant? Like life is just passing you by? Like you're being manipulated by immortal beings with no regard for your well being and condescendingly pointy ears? Good. That's what the Immortals want.
I've been doing some math and some shenanigans (never a good combination) and I've discovered that the Immortal Calendar is super cool. Immortals have nine days in their week. They have nine weeks in a month. They have nine months in a year. Do all that math and their years are 729 days long. That's two of our years minus a day. One Immortal year is two human years. We're like dogs to them. And yes that means they have two springs, two summers, two falls and two winters, but if you live forever, does that really matter all that much? Does time really matter all that much? Yes. Yes it does. Because you have to know when to go to war and when to go to war and when to go to war and most importantly, the most sacred of all Immortal traditions, you have to know when the times are good...to go to war. Immortals loooove killing. It's bad. Mostly for us mortals. I hope you're all having good, safe travels. I'll be updating more than zero times a week for the next few weeks. Feel free to follow me on Twitter for an array of shenanigans, mainly those pertaining to my book, but also, just things that are happening in my brain. Also like us on Facebook if you haven't already!
As always thank you for your continued and rad support.
Greetings my Boulderoleros!
Today for #ManCrushMonday, I give to you Padrus Masos, the first King of Boulderoth, a simple fisherman who grows up on The Grey Crag, a city like Atlantis and Alexandria with a pinch of the Florida Keys. He's got a wife and three kids until his wife leaves for a super rich dude. Then he's just got three kids. The Grey Crag is destroyed by storms and earthquakes and sucked down into the ocean and in the chaos of their escape, his oldest son along with his daughter-in-law and grandbaby are lost. He manages to get on board a ship with his two children Nokolus and Narus who are 15 and 10 at the time. As they get closer to land there's a reef and a whole bunch of the ships go down and everyone gets eaten by sharks, but Padrus and his kids make it to shore and they get thrown in jail because the King of the Tarkins is all paranoid because he pissed off the Kambis and they put a curse on the whole kingdom and it's a big mess there. Whatever. Long story short, Padrus meets a Tarkin lady named Amaryllia Vulepus and they have a kid in 518 B.E. (that's Before the Empire). There's a coup and Padrus finds himself king of a kingdom he doesn't understand. His first act as king is to protect his new kingdom from all the zombies that arose because of the Curse of the Kambis. So he and his eldest living son, Nikolus go out and they fight some zombies, but at this city called Serleon, they are overconfident and they find themselves surrounded and there are some Harres that ride up because they see smoke and they're curious, but their horses don't like the zombies so they're like "Well, fuck this." and they leave. Nikolus is killed in the chaos and that really hits home for Padrus. They manage to kill all the zombies, but Padrus develops a drinking problem and winds up ruling for ten more years as a super bummed out King who doesn't get out of bed that much. He dies and leaves the kingdom to his daughter, Narus. She's a badass. She is later killed by Madman Titus Tavro, a former zombie hunter turned outlaw. So that's some stuff. Rock and roll.
That's it. That's where the magic happens. Literally. I don't know if you can zoom in on it, but bonus points to whoever finds sasquatch in the mountains.
Boulderolerooooos! It's me again. I wanted to show you this map I made. It's where the elves have been killing each other essentially non-stop for their entire 50,000 year existence!
Stay dry (to those of you currently in rainy areas (it's raining in NYC)) and as always,