Gideon’s handwriting was surprisingly neat on the bar napkin, despite full on nerve tremors and constantly grasping at his stomach thinking he was going to be sick. That all ended at the crest of his knuckles, his long fingers flying across the paper, black ink soaking and settling onto three thin layers of baby blue doil. Piper was able to make it out perfectly from over his blood orange sport coat.
*Sex has been weird for me for a while now. I’m not sure what half of the things people describe themselves are. Like, for the longest time I was telling everyone I was transgender, because I was in-between sex at the time. I guess other people call it a dry spell. No one really corrected or helped me on that one, figured it out the hard way. But now that I’m getting older I realize I’m way more traditional than I thought. Like I support all the things that other people want to do, well support is a strong word, I wouldn’t go to bat for these furry folks. (expect boos in the audience) Guess the sticky traps in here did nothing. No, I’m simply saying I wouldn’t go to bat for them because they are clearly mascots, and they aren’t even on the team. IT’S A POLICY ISSUE AND WE BOTH NEED TO KEEP OUR JOBS. What’s interesting is my girlfriend dresses like a possum, and we both play dead. And I believe that its not weird if theres no name for it yet. I also feel that I’m traditional because I know that if she were to get pregnant, that I’d do the right thing and raise that child until it became inconvenient for me.*
“You can’t say that. Gideon. YOU CAN’T SAY THAT!”
His hand stopped writing and she could make out him punctuating it with THANK YOU at the end of his set notes, as if he would forget to feed his own ego.
“I wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t leave.” he looked up.
She could see he was sincere on the draw and Piper burst into laughter.
“Any mention of a possum, you idiot. Who knows if these people video feed this shit out!”
His response time reminded Piper of when she was a girl and learning that some dinosaurs were so big, it took several seconds for them to feel pain, like a bite from some underfoot predator.
“Ok. No problem, but that bit works right?”
The air slowed its ascension from the floor vents next to them, feeding air past them onto the stage, as if to stop in listen. And it heard the lead silence scraping right past Gideon’s face painted brows. But only air could see that.
“You can change the last part to do the right thing and raise that child via my life insurance policy.”
“God, why aren’t you doing this.”
“I prefer to use my powers for good.”
This is one of my favorite pages in the whole book, a rare quiet moment for Gideon and Piper, our main characters the story. He is about to headline at a convention for the adult entertainment industry with no previous notice, and is writing jokes backstage with Piper’s help. Come back later if you want to know more about the possum.