I read your chapter as you requested. There is a lot of potential in your writing, you definitely have a gift for storytelling. Of course you are only 15 and have a long way ahead of you, but keep writing; the only thing that makes you good at writing is writing a lot. Just two tips regarding this text: 1. show don't tell. This means don't describe the actions happening describe what the characters are feeling, how the actions are affecting them. For example instead of saying "she was embarrassed" say "a rush of blood flooded her face; she tried to look on a different direction so he wouldn't notice" 2. pay attention to your verbs. If your protagonist is speaking in first person present tense, then you have to stick to it. Good job!