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“Are you ready for your first day back in college?”
The woman stood by the doorway leaning up against the door; looking as frail and as pale as ever. Her question was met with silence followed by a long cold stare as the girl before her continued tossing things carelessly into her backpack. “Are you just not going to answer me Jordyn?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be!” Jordyn sighed with a forced smile.
“Look baby everything your father and I did – we did because we loved you.”
“Ooh Right! Right, I felt that love. Every single bit of it. You love me.” She repeated mockingly. “You smothered me so much that you decided to send me away for six whole months just to keep from looking me in the eyes; right?” She continued on. “– Because you were so ashamed to face the fact that your only daughter is a disgrace to you and dad!”
“What did you want us to do Jordyn?!”
“Fight for me! Mom. I needed YOU to fight for me!!” Jordyn screamed out in anger. “I’m your only daughter; your only child! I expected that from dad because he already planted his seeds all over and got himself a whole football team of kids before running to the church with his tail lapped between his legs because he knew; only God had the heart to accept a man like him after the life he lived. God and you—”She snarled “7 kids with 7 different women and he gets forgiven and is bestowed the honor of being a pastor; but you mom – you only have one child; one daughter.” She spoke shakily. Her eyes clouded with tears as she watched her mother shatter to pieces. “I expected you to say ‘she doesn’t deserve that’ or ‘I wouldn’t dear to send my only child from my side for so long’ – or even have a freaking conversation with me first! Instead you rolled over and played dead and you let him send me to boot camp for 6 months! Even after grandma got sick and I begged you to let me come home and say my goodbyes; you turned your back on me. – And she finally died and I begged you again to let me come home for the funeral you shunned me; fucking abandoned me! You stopped taking my calls, seen all my messages and didn’t reply to none.” She chuckled as tears ran down her cheeks. “You didn’t even want me back here did you?!” Now her response was met by silence. She shook her head and smiled through her tears. “That’s exactly what I thought. FUCK YOUR LOVE! – excuse me!” Jordyn pushed pass her and out the door.
Jordyn stood out in the hall. Classes were to begin in just a few minutes. Looking at it from where she stood; this place seemed so familiar but yet so different from where she had spent the last six months of her life. This was her first time setting foot in this building in six months and yet it was like nothing changed at all. It was exactly how she left it. In a way she kind of expected some change. After all; her entire world came crashing down in this very hall.
She took slow long steps along the hallway until she made it to her locker. Students all around were looking at her as if she had just risen from the dead like Lazarus. She knew them all; or at least she thought she did.
She dropped off her backpack and her books in her locker, then she turned and sighed deeply. It did feel good to be home; somewhere civil for change. Even though she was glad to be back; it just didn’t quite feel like home anymore. Not with all that hate she had bottled up inside her for this place; not with the type of experience she amassed these past 6 month.
Home for everyone is where you go to escape reality when you have nowhere else. It’s where you lay your head at night and you feel comfortable because it’s what you know and what you’re used to. It’s not always a perfect getaway but it compensates highly in times of need. When the entire world starts closing in on you and you start hyperventilating and panicking; that moment you finally make it home and lock your doors and you leave the world out behind them – then you turn up your music and turn your phone off and you feel that peace you were so longing for – you can finally breathe; that’s what she thought being home would have felt like. As she looked around these halls however; she felt chills down her spine. All she saw was painful memories scattered on the walls all around. In every passage way, on ever staircase, the entrance to the girl’s bathroom. She breathed as the flashbacks attacked her, they crept up slowly like a thief in the night and then before she could even try to shake them; her mind was crowded and she was overwhelmed with grief. She wanted desperately to be back here but now that she’s back all she could think about was leaving; but why? Maybe in a way she thought coming back would have brought her closure but all she got was painful memories and regrets and not to mention; a heart as heavy as lead.
She turned and let her eyes wonder the halls once more. They searched the faces of all those people thoroughly until – they settled on one face; so unfamiliar. She hadn’t seen this person before and she had no idea why that one glance felt so peculiar to her; but she liked everything she saw. Jordyn’s eyes wondered the person’s body from head to toe; then finally settled on that gorgeous smile, that was just being tossed around the hall so proudly.
That’s when she remembered Liz; it’s been a while since she had a recollection of this place that actually made her smile within. Liz used to walk these halls and the corridors with a smile just as broad as that one; perhaps even broader if that was even possible. That Same smile got her through many of her sleepless nights. It was as soothing as it was beautiful.
Jordyn stared at the girl greedily; however unbeknownst to her – Camille stood at a distance and had been watching her the entire time. Jordyn took two steps closer to her target but just as she was about to introduce herself; Camille grabbed her by the arm and swooped her to the side.
“Hey, hey bud!” She greeted Jordyn excitedly. “Nice to see you out of boot camp so soon. Now wipe that drool off your mouth; desperation is not a good look on you!”
“HEEEY!” Jordyn stopped abruptly and grabbed Camille into one of the tightest hugs she could muster. “I missed you sooooo much.” She added anxiously. “OMG Cam! It’s amazing to see you!”
At that same moment all the commotion they were creating drew Dre’s attention; who had been standing only a few feet away.
Dre was Camille’s older cousin. They grew up in the same house as Camille’s parents took Dre in when he was only two months. They raised him as their own even when Camille was born. For a long while they grew up thinking they were brother and sister and to this day people still believe they are, because of the bond they had.
“Hey dumb and dumber.” He greeted them. “When did you get home Jordyn; it’s been so hard to watch Camille walking these halls all sad and friendless. I had no idea she was this unsociable ‘til you left. Poor thing; she was like a fucking Zombie!” He joked.
“I am not; just shut up you douche!” Camille clapped back angrily.
“Yo whatever!” Dre shut her down abruptly. “Aunt said we should pick up something to eat on our way home. Her and unc are gonna be out late tonight.” He informed Camille just before grabbing Jordyn under his armpit and playfully messing her hair up then running off. “Good to have you back Jordyn!” He screamed over his shoulder right before bursting through the door and exiting the building completely. The fact that she and Camille spent most of their time together which included a lot of sleepovers between their houses; meant that Jordyn also got to see a lot of Dre. He was always crashing their sleepovers, making fun of their taste in music, he literally did everything he could to be seen by them and to annoy the hell out of them as well. Fact is; none of the three were strangers.
Jordyn looked over her shoulder now red with embarrassment; to see the girl that had her totally mesmerized before was staring directly at her. She was shocked at the realization that she was staring directly into her eyes. Hurriedly she turned to face Camille to try to hide her flushed face.
“Who is that girl?!” She asked nervously. “Is she still looking?”
“That’s K’arra; DRE’S GIRL!” Camille replied. Placing emphasis on the end so Jordyn would know that was trouble.
“What?! I didn’t say anything. I just figured she looked new is all.”
“Whatever J, just know you’ve been warned.” Camille announced loudly
Jordyn chuckled sheepishly. “Hey I brought you some stuff, it’s not much because I crammed all the shopping in last minute.” She continued to smile broadly. “You wanna come over after we’re through with classes for the day?”
The conversation between them trailed off; they pretty much got caught up with each other’s lives for a short while after. That was until the bell rang for their first class.
Jordyn and Camille had been friends since kindergarten. As a matter of fact; she was Jordyn’s first ever play date, her first sleepover and her first ever friend. They’ve been this close since day one; nothing – not even the six months she spent away could separate them. The girls just went on like Jordyn never left.
It was at lunch when the two actually got the chance to speak again. Though most of their classes were together, they were forbidden by lecturers and higher faculty members to sit next to each other. Most of them filed complaints against the two for being disruptive, chatty and extremely absent-minded in each other’s company.
Jordyn chose one of the small tables in the cafeteria; right next to the garbage and surrounded by the nerds and rejects. Camille was hesitant to join her at first because this was below embarrassing plus with Jordyn around again; she pretty much had her pick of any table in there. She was just confused as to why Jordyn would choose the crappiest of the lot.
People all around stared at them oddly and there was no reason to guess why. It was just too much of a disgrace to see the queen B who once ran these halls with grace, pride, fierceness and power seated in this position. She once sat amongst the jocks, the honor students, the rich and famous students that still sat in these halls to date. When she spoke the entire student body stood behind her no matter the consequences. The people she once called friends were sitting just across the room staring her down like she was the scum of the earth.
“Something tells me you haven’t come back to reclaim your title and your reputation.” Camille spoke out, finally taking a seat across from her. Both were quiet even though they both saw the stares coming in their direction and heard all the gossips. She figured Sparkle wasn’t going to say anything so she did. Sparkle glared at her; deeply annoyed by her comment but she didn’t offer a response. “What happened at that camp Jordyn?!” She sighed. “You were the most popular girl in this school and now what?” She continued to question. “We’re chowing next to garbage now; this seat is disgusting!”
“What good has popularity brought me huh?!” She asked angrily. “My deepest secrets were aired for the entire school to see because I was popular, my heart was shattered for all to see – because I was popular, I was sent away because I was popular. I lost everything I had and cared for all because I was popular and everyone in this fucking room got to bear witness to my pain all because I was fucking popular.” She whispered sharply through gritted teeth; trying desperately not to draw any more attention to herself. “None of this bullshit would have happened if I was just a no name like all these other creeps. I bet they have deep dark secrets that no one cares to know about – and why is that you asked Camille? Because they are not popular and no one cares about their lives.”
“—Jordyn –…” Camille sighed.
Dre walked into the cafeteria immediately following that and that pretty much ended the conversation. All eyes were on him and K’arra as they both glided in together hand in hand.
“What’s the deal with these two anyways?” Jordyn asked; changing the topic completely.
“Well that bitch stepped up pretty quickly and stole your crown right after you left. She’s the most popular girl around thanks to her relationship with Dre whom you seem to have forgotten is my closest cousin.” Camille explained; emphasizing once more to make sure Jordyn sees the red flag. “I see that look in your eyes Jordyn, take that chick off your mind. She’s bad news.” She continues to deter Jordyn’s focus from K’arra. “Once again. You’ve been warned.”
“Well if she took my spot, I need to know all about her.” Jordyn smiled slyly. “Don’t you think?”
“Fine J; if you’re not gonna let this go you at least need to know what you’re up against.” Camille begun. “You know I was her only friend in this entire school for like three weeks because Dre was paying me to befriend her just so he could get close to her.” She continued on into the back story. Jordyn sat attentively; eating up every single word that came from her mouth. For whatever reason; she was very eager to hear whatever had to be said about this girl. Camille trailed off into the story; her only aim at this point was to turn Sparkle’s mind against K’arra.
See the week K’arra first Started at St Leonard’s Catholic College. Dre was trying all sorts of slick tricks to get with the new girl but she rejected all his advances. She wasn’t into the popularity nor the hype that came with him. She was just really down to earth. When he finally grew tired of the rejection; he recruited Camille. He offered her $5000 a week to befriend K’arra and in doing so she’d basically persuade her to give Dre a chance.
Before long; Dre got the chance to charm his way in and the very minute he got in; her front began to fade. It just so happened she was just as shallow and self-absorbed as he was. They were a perfect match. Not to mention; she was crazy too.
Jordyn was confused as to what Camille meant. She flexed her lower arm in a circular motion; signaling her to continue.
Camille continued to tell her about how super obsessive and jealous K’arra was. She explained on and even described instances where K’arra would become enraged at Dre for Spending time with his own family. She confided in Jordyn then that today was actually the first Dre has Spoken to her in months and it was all just for show; just because she had returned from that workshop.
Camille sounded depressed as she spoke about how K’arra turned her own cousin against her to the point where they hardly even speak now, even when they’re home.
Jordyn heard all this and she knew for sure she should have just left it at that but she just didn’t want to. Somewhere deep down she felt there was more to K’arra than what Camille was saying. Jordyn felt the need to know K’arra for herself; something about her – from that very first glance just enchanted her in a way that was just extremely exigent. Her aura was so familiar for some strange reason; it was like she already had a connection with this girl. Call it spur of the moment or whatever you may but she had a strong infatuation for K’arra; despite all that was said.
Camille knew right then that her warning had fallen on deaf ears. She got up to leave and asked Jordyn to come with her but her offer was turned down. Camille left Jordyn staring hungrily at K’arra who was sitting with Dre just across the room. It was obvious this was going to be trouble but Camille didn’t know how else to convince Jordyn.
Just as Camille exited the cafeteria; Dre was starting to head for the exit as well. Now was Jordyn’s chance to make a move. As she walked over to K’arra however; flashbacks of those cold sleepless nights back in New York jolted her.
See Jordyn had thought long and hard about it. She was at her lowest, was more depressed than she’d ever been. Life had thrown her nothing but hardship, the repercussion for her love and her happiness was turmoil. As a result of this, she felt no need to continue fighting against a world full of rejection. She was literally just about to take her own life when she got the devastating call that changed everything. As she got closer to K’arra that same churn in her stomach hit; the very same she felt when she just got the news about her grandmother’s passing. She remembered how her parent shunned her to the point where she had to literally beg them to accept her back home; just so she could make it to the funeral.
The last six months of her life was riddled with so much pain; even the memories ripped her to shreds. She couldn’t help but think back though; it was always in the forefront of her mind to remind her. It was one bad decision like this that devastated her entire existence.
Her legs wobbled as she got closer to K’arra. This felt so new to her; the nearer she got the shorter her steps grew and the more nervous she became. There was now only a tiny gap between the two. K’arra finally looked up from her phone and saw Jordyn standing directly before her. She quickly shoved the phone in her pocket; took a deadly glare at Jordyn and then walked straight pass her like she wasn’t even standing there.
All this time Jordyn was still trying desperately to unscramble the words in her brain and to build up the courage just to say ‘hi’. She couldn’t; all she could do was watch helplessly as K’arra left the Cafeteria.
A few more days went by and Jordyn found herself yearning for K’arra’s attention even more. It was like a spell was set on her, no matter how hard she fought the urge to not think about K’arra; she couldn’t. Still; Jordyn could never muster up enough courage to speak to her but she found herself performing silly gimmicks to try to impress or to grab her attention for even just a second. All her efforts seemed to have been fruitless as they attracted everyone else’s attention but K’arra’s. Even though her aim at the beginning was to be as low key as possible and keep a low profile; the stunts she pulled in order to capture K’arra’s attention boosted her popularity by the second. Afterall; she never hid them.
Before long the entire school body knew her all too well, just as they did before. She was Queen B. The only other female in her league was as destiny would have it; K’arra. It was the last thing she wanted but from the minute she set foot back into that school; it was inevitable. Some persons were just meant to stand out above the rest; their personas are too strong to be ignored. Jordyn was one such person
She didn’t ask for this; all she wanted was to meet K’arra; to speak with her and find out more about her but her nerves kept getting in the way of that. Each and every time and opportunity came around she’d blow it, along with the nerves there was always those horrid flashbacks and those god awful memories to keep her in check.
She could never forget New York and all the shit show fiasco that led up to it. She was desperate; she needed to make a move – she just couldn’t.
Finally one afternoon; the perfect opportunity presented itself and she wasn’t about to let it pass her up again.