@Nicholas E. Efstathiou The paragraph that’s describing Doctor Moran’s room near the beginning of the chapter seems like it’s too soon. I recommend having his first bit of dialogue, "Have you been obsessed with books for a long time?" be before the paragraph describing the room, it seems like it would run smoother that way. The rest of your sample is great and is near flawless. But I’d like to suggest maybe making August more eccentric, it’s only a suggestion, I don’t know if that would actually fit into your story, but it seems like something to consider.
Hello! Here's the first chapter of "In Alexandria", let me know what you think.