You've nicely captured a hard-boiled note for both the protagonist and narrative style. I liked this paragraph for itself, the underlexicalization of the description and the way the narrator has to fall back on inappropriate metaphors or inadequate description contributes to the enigmatic nature of both the assailant and the technology itself. On the same note, maybe in the rest of your story you don't always need to provide explications so regularly when introducing new technology? I'm thinking of 'Neuromancer', which is full of neologisms and all kinds of 'cyber-science' tech, but Gibson doesn't often explain these things directly in the narrative. It can make for a disorientating read, though, I guess. A really interesting choice formally to divide the narrative into present and past, and I'm interested to see how these two narrative threads merge as the story progresses. I'm really impressed by the depth of this imaginative world you've created.