Maybe a synonym for the second muttered.
muttered. “Just remember the details for your book,” I muttered
I would be freaking out if I were her.
“Yes.” Louise lowered herself to the floor with a groan. “I gotta lose weight,” she moaned. “This is ridiculous. And while I love purple, the whole purple stone hair thing? This sucks.”
Maybe "three locations where he could be"?
three locations he could be
This was a good scene. I like the description and the way the narrator reasons out the situation.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to. I rolled into deeper shrubbery and dug my phone out. This time I called. “I’m out. Wherever I am.”
Maybe you should mention earlier in this section that there are adults watching the kids?
one of the adults supposedly tending the children.
