This feels a little off. Maybe "begging under her breath for it to get moving"
begging it underneath her breath to get moving
Reader, writer, maker of pointlessly elaborate renaissance dresses and collector of increasingly rid...
I see. That does make a convincing argument. I shall consider it!
We agree there! The dialogue can always be tightened up, especially here. I’ll work on that. Thanks for all the notes. I really appreciate your help. You smart.
Just curious, what makes you want to change the "through" to "by" or "via"? I’m not entirely opposed to via, but I just wanted to know what fueled that suggestion. I feel like through works fairly well as it is, but I’m always open to smart notes!
Alabama native and self-published author of Science Fiction and Fantasy books. Expat and world trave...
There is an entire chapter later that tells their backstory in more detail, so I don’t want to go into too much. This chapter is more of a prologue that introduces Yintal. And he’s been chasing this giant for a long time. He wants him dead and doesn’t want to waste time. I wanted it to be sudden and quick.
It does, it’s just clunky garbage. "without something to offer" might be better?
