Yeah. This part here is so strong and clear that it may do the job all by itself of painting how creepy this guy is.
You don’t actually have to tell us that he’s been watching her for a while (like the first paragraph of this section does), because he tells her himself right here.
I’m not saying you should delete all the preceding descriptions. No, no, no. I’m just trying to show a different way of looking at the structure of what you have going on here.
