These two words sort of break the flow, maybe consider cutting them. Really liking it so far though :D
Maybe "prideful and sin. However, he had"
Watch out for the long sentences, it’s quite easy to get lost in them :)
Above that map, in the dimly lit room, the fluorescent lights flickered down on the creators of Heaven and Hell, they were having a discussion, more of a debate, on the fate of man-kind and preparing to explain to the Divine Council, that sat right in the other room nervously awaiting for the verdict, for it had been centuries since the last meeting and this meeting felt different, felt very unsettling, change was coming, be it for the better or worse, was only up to the creators to decide and for the Council to carry out.
As far as opening sentences go, that’s pretty much perfect for me.
In a small office building off the corner of the end of the universe and the beginning of time, sat six individuals
DeadNet. Now there was something she wouldn’t be getting used to any time soon.
