I don’t think this sentence is needed - jump straight into the dream, especially as it’s the significant scene of the chapter!
I could tell it was a dream because of all the washed-out colors and the hint of fog at the edge of my vision
I’ll have to claw my way up from the bottom of the barrel and rely on a ton of luck to get me through
I’ll have to claw my way up from the bottom of the barrel and rely on a ton of luck to get me through
This is a really nice way to reveal this aspect of your setting - it makes it feel a natural part of the world.
My posture would’ve made her proud. I walked in with what I hoped was a confident stride.
This is a bit repetitive of the opening sentence, I think the paragraph will be stronger without it.
To me, it was a much more pressing problem than worrying about vampires and other people in the magical community.
your kind grows smaller with each passing day they are blind to the growing shadow. You know it…that’s why you came here alone.
your kind grows smaller with each passing day they are blind to the growing shadow. You know it…that’s why you came here alone.
