Hi there and thank you for being so forthcoming. I don’t think I have solutions to all your obstacles, but perhaps I can offer some perspective as a fellow newbie.
1. You listed anxiety as your primary concern, so I’ll address that first. In the US we call self-promotion "hustling." Most creative people I know are not very good at hustling, some because of the anxiety issues you mentioned, and others because they feel their art should speak for itself. For the most part, crowdfunding is a hustler’s game. There are some who manage to succeed without hustling, but they are the rare exceptions. One alternative avenue you might want to consider, if you feel strongly about your craft and narrative but hate hustling, is to pursue publishing through a more traditional route, i.e. send your manuscript to agents and attempt to get a book deal that way. There will still be anxiety in dealing with agents and facing rejection, but you won’t have to deal with the anxiety of asking your acquaintances to part with their money.
I still experience similar anxiety every time I ask someone to pre-order my book, but I’m what you call a "giver." Every time someone I know asks me to support something they’re doing, whether it’s helping them move or contributing to a charity race, music, girl scout cookies, whatever - I support them. In a bar or a restaurant, I’m always the one who picks up the tab. I never ask for anything in return. I like giving. So, in my mind, making this ask of people to support the book is not a Bad Thing, because:
- I’m not asking for much
- I really believe they’ll like the book
I hope this helps, somewhat.
2. The LGBT community here and everyone online is very supportive and nurturing. Have you considered reaching out to the Write Out Loud Syndicate here?
3. Trading pre-orders is frowned upon. It’s not a practice you should think of as "necessary" in order to succeed. You’d probably be even more successful in getting Inkshares authors to pre-order your book by simply engaging with them in meaningful conversation rather than doing order exchanges. Asking your friends for things like a cover or to beta read your book doesn’t always have involve money. I do lots of favors for my friends which in the business world would translate to thousands of dollars, and they do the same for me. You’re a baker? If I was an artist I’d gladly do a cover in exchange for baguettes and cookies :) There’s enormous power in community. Foster your own personal creative circle, and always give four times more than you receive. It’s a great model for living.
I’m not sure if this helps or not. You’re not alone here, this is an amazing community. We’re here for you.