What about her blind eyes makes people uncomfortable?
It makes others more comfortable, seeing the jewels and golden thread instead of her own, blind eyes.
This sentence is great, and I’d stop it there. Then I’d go into how the "victor drops it to the ground."
The grey beast lets out a howl, like a beautiful secret melody, and falls limp
I think this can be more descriptive and broken down into a few sentences. Perhaps describing what they look like.
In the middle of the hot sunny street, two mighty beasts fight each other.
I’m a husband and father living in New England. I love reading history and writing whatever happens...
I’m a physician, birder, and pilot, among other things, and I’m the author of Mission 51. It’s both ...
