The pitfall I worry about with that is the Dallas (dated myself) season where the whole thing turned out to be a dream. I feel like the audience was like, "Well then, who cares!?" My suggestion would be to make sure the real world stakes of pain being real, and maybe real world characters are in the AR as well, escalate the conflict after the experience turns out to be a game. My knee jerk reaction is the man turns out to be a prisoner being experimented on, and he has to then stop this from happening to others. If you send me the draft directly as a word document, I can add comments to it directly.
Three learned men stood somber and shaken in the long enclave around the thing that had been a man mere moments before which now lay framed in remnants of broken glass
Eldritch horror meets the teen detective genre in the first novel of the Arkham Akademy series. The question is not what cosmic menace, dark force, or corrupt science is responsible, but which one? The game is afoot, or tentacle? A claw maybe...
A new MMO releases, Mass-Murder-Online. Where pain and death are very real. More than just a game, more than Artificial Reality. This is a world where once you mess up. There is no going back we all die someday. Some die sooner.
