I love this immediate reversal, but I would double check to make sure you want this many semicolons. They are used correctly, but so many so fast call attention to themselves and I wonder if you could get the same cadence with periods.
A little girl with a stuffed rabbit. The inescapable nightmares, whether awake or asleep. The words she keeps hearing like a song stuck in her head. For Emily Hunter, the time to discover the key to her madness has finally come.
While we will select our monthly pick with due democratic process, the primary focus of this association is to have its members suggest books for review and it is the solemn oath of the members to provide a review for any suggestion at t...
I actually have less comments about the piece than I do about the seemingly negative criticisms. When critiquing to assist other authors, it is ineffective to say something is, ’eh.’ It is useful to say the tone does not match or shifts, and then cite specifics switches or an example of the point being made. For instance, in regards to the repetition of the words choices, I would recommend reading the passages aloud to ensure the tonality of the piece was effective or just to double check the repetition to ensure it was intentional.
I disagree with this comment, but I agree the placement is less effective than the intention. I do like the delineation between the business and the home, which has a emotional quality.
