A good end to the chapter. What I’d rather see than wondering, though, is for her to imagine/dream of a daughter fighting off monsters in the same way she did. A small change, but I think it would be interesting.
Good work so far!
Aelyth went to sleep that night, with thoughts of what her child might be, should her ancestors deem her worthy. A daughter she hoped, strong and fierce, proud and clever, and full of life.
I don’t know what the following chapters will hold, but I would like to point out this manner of speech right here. Will it be returning? Or is it just used here? I find that I forget to re-use special language later on when I use it at the beginning. In later chapters it could be refreshing to hear ’-name-, daughter of -name-’ make a comeback in an appropriate situation.
“Aelyth,” Maelyn spoke from among those waiting to wash, her tone sharp. “Daughter of Shaen, your inattention nearly cost you your life.”
I think that it could just be referred to as "The Song" at this point.
Song of a Thousand Deaths
I’m a bit confused. Is this in the middle of a battle? Or training? I think moving the second paragraph down a little bit to keep the flow of action might help out. As it stands the first paragraph indicates action, while the second makes me think she’s just holding her sword. Then back to action in the third.
Her’s had passed from her mother, who had died giving birth to Aelyth twenty years ago, before that it had belonged to her mother’s mother, and her mother’s mother, and her mother’s mother, and before that it did not exist as part of their song
