Schedule:

THURSDAY: Go to the Canadian National Exhibition with family and my Web Goddess.

FRIDAY: Go to Fan Expo Toronto as a member of the Klingon Assault Group (KAG).

SUNDAY: Ditto.

I’m such a social butterfly. LOL So, I may not be posting until Monday. Have a good weekend everybody!

THE WRITING CONTINUES, PART 2

In the first week of September, 2002, my Web page Les Pages aux Folles (http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca) went live. Earlier today, I posted the 678th consecutive weekly update to the site, marking the 13th anniversary of its birth. For those of you who like big round numbers, I estimate I have written two million words for it.

I actually started Les Pages aux Folles in 1984; at the time, I wanted to be Art Buchwald. (Don’t look at me like that – you know how to use Google. And, if you’re going to search for his name, combine that with Eddie Murphy. Iiiiinteresting…) When, after three years, it became apparent that the world neither wanted nor needed another Art Buchwald, I moved on to writing scripts for radio, film and television.

In 2002, the extraordinary Gisela McKay offered me her services as a Web designer and space on her server if I wanted to use the Web to promote my writing. Thus, the Les Pages aux Folles concept was (re)born! Since the original concept was meant for newspapers, most of the writing was under 1,000 words, which turned out to be the perfect size for online publishing.

What kind of writing is it? Topical political satire. (That’s right – I was writing satire before John Stewart made it popular with the cool kids!) Although satire remains the focus of the site, it quickly developed into a playground for my imagination, a place where I could do whatever crazy things came into my head (cartoons, anybody?). Although over the last few years it has settled down with some weekly features, I hope that it’s still a place where a reader can be surprised by what they find there.

One of those weekly features is an article from the Alternate Reality News Service (ARNS). ARNS sends reporters into other dimensions and has them write news articles about what they find there; it has been described by a couple of readers as “a science fiction version of The Onion.” I have published six collections of ARNS articles to date: four general collections (including news, reviews, interviews, features and even obituaries – anything you might imagine reading in your daily newspaper) and two collections of advice columns (think: humourous sci fi Dear Abby). Each of the books is available in print at better Amazons near you, but they are also still in the Les Pages aux Folles archive, marked “[ARNS]” for your reading pleasure.

I often compare writing on a regular schedule for the Internet to what it must have been like writing for the pulp magazines of the 1930s and 1940s: you learn to write a large amount of material in a short amount of time. This experience is what has allowed me to write four and three quarters novels and 15 or so short stories in under six years (on top of 52 Web site updates a year). More than that, though, the Web site has allowed me to experiment with voice and content so that, when I decided to write my first novel as I approached the age of 50, I had a very clear vision of what I wanted to accomplish with it and how to achieve it.

So, let us blow out 13 candles on a digital birthday cake and make a wish for a happy, entertaining year 14!

Two weeks down and four to go, and what have we learned? How about the difference between means and ends?

My impression is that many, if not most of the writers who have entered the Inkshares/Nerdist contest are making their writing public for the first time (many with their first written novel). They see the contest as an end in itself: win and you’ll instantly become a wealthy and successful writer.

As if.

For those who win, (I presume) there will be months of intense editing. After that, there will be months of intense promotion (reviews, interviews, maybe even some public appearances). All you’ll be winning is the chance to do a lot of hard work.

But, wait. There’s more. Because then you’ll have to produce a second novel (they are notoriously difficult to pull off). Wash. Rinse. Repeat. And, if you’re lucky, more novels will come over time. When I submitted my second novel to my publisher at Elsewhen Press, I said, “Here’s my next novel.” His response was: “Wait until you have several under your belt and you can say, “Here’s my latest novel.” Some people will find the possibility exhilarating (I have, and my experience has shown me that he was right); others will find it the scariest proposition they have ever heard.

What if, as the vast majority of us will, you lose? Do you have a plan for what to do with your novel beyond that? Are you ready to make the rounds of publishers (with all the delightfully soul-crushing rejection that implies)? Are you willing to polish your story until it shines brighter than a star…and then start the whole process again with a new one? If you’re tempted to give up, you probably weren’t cut out to be a writer. That may sound harsh, but I believe it was Richard Bach who said: “A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.”

For my own part, being in this contest has proven in my mind what great friends and family I have, no small feat in itself given my generally timid and distrustful nature. In forcing me to get outside of my comfort zone and ask others for help, it has pushed me to make contacts which may help me in my career beyond the contest. Finally, my poor showing so far is a reminder that a career in the arts is a long slog full of hard, hard work; there are no shortcuts to success.

My advice would be to remember that the Inkshares/Nerdist contest is not an end in itself, it’s a means to the end of furthering your writing career. I think a lot of the writers here might benefit from that perspective.