Edits are great for me, because they help me re think parts that might be funky. But sometimes I stick with the original too. Either way the feedback helps. So I hope it helps you.
Maybe - Lindsey clutched the steering wheel with quivering fingers and pushed her gas pedal to the floor. The speedometer clawed its way to 100 and quaked there; to Lindsey it felt more like 200.
The paved floor outside glistened from the retched rain that had somehow managed to make Lindsays bones feel damp. Her teeth chattered from the biting cold as she made her way up the cobbled walkway to her mothers house. All around her, tree’s swayed in unison causing their leaves to rustle in the wind.
Diana, Lindsay’s beloved newborn baby, seemed to not care about the icy cold weather. She lay in Lindsays arms, fast asleep and unaware of the possible danger . . .
The paved floor outside glistened from the retched rain that had somehow managed to make Lindsays bones feel damp. Her teeth chattered from the biting cold as she made her way up the cobbled walkway to her mothers house. All around her, tree’s swayed in unison causing their leaves to rustle in the wind.
Diana, Lindsay’s beloved newborn baby, seemed to not care about the icy cold weather. She lay in Lindsays arms, fast asleep and unaware of the possible danger . . .
We are off to a good start, so keep telling your friends about us!