Are the Dorcini Kingdom and the Kingdom of Dorcin the same thing? I was wondering if this was a Republic of China vs. People’s Republic of China thing.
Rayne Tekbli has a family honor to uphold, but it all comes crashing down on her when she is paired with the most unlikely of Guardian material to ever grace the halls of the Dorcini Academy. Spies, space battles, and comic antics ensue.
Dialogue is a tricky thing. I don’t think this reads as well as it could, though the gist of it is good. I understand it’s not a final draft, but I read every bit of dialogue aloud to see if it sounds like something someone might actually say, the way they’d speak. I don’t think the repetition of "pull their weight", nor the phrase "iron will", works.
“We will need everyone to pull their weight here. This can’t be swept underneath the rug, it is going to be too big, but it can be dealt with delicately and with iron will. Already we are getting phone calls from MPs regarding how we are going to all pull together on this, seeing as I said, everyone is to pull their weight.”
The summer light had begun to cave to the pressure of twilight and give way to the illuminating whispers of a quiet suburban street that only came out in the hot season.
