Laura says, "Great dialogue. Sounds real."

Laura says, "So, no college plans yet? Great dialogue between Scott and Jeff." I edited chapter sixteen in which Scott tells Jeff that he’s getting a job and going to school the next year.

Randy says, "Transition. Mention how ready they are to test. What day? Night? Weekend? Location? Is this all the equipment?"

Randy says, "Can you combine the memory of hang gliding experiences with Scott’s panic of landing this new machine?" That’s a good point. I should add a line about a previous experience.